Well, folks, it looks like we’ve finally cracked the code to turning things around—by canceling DEI. Because, of course, when revenue is declining, the best course of action is to eliminate one of the few programs leadership can effortlessly implement, celebrate, and pat themselves on the back for, all while avoiding the more uncomfortable conversations about, you know… actually fixing the business.
It's a brilliant move, really. Why focus on structural problems—like performance, innovation, or customer retention—when we can just cut a program that gave us something to applaud in company meetings? It’s like the captain of a sinking ship deciding that the best way to stay afloat is to repaint the lifeboats instead of plugging the hole in the hull.
But hey, at least now we won’t have to hear about all those pesky “initiatives” designed to make the company more inclusive and competitive. And who needs that when we can sit back and watch the stock price sink, all while proudly declaring victory over a program that wasn’t even the problem in the first place?
Here’s to bold leadership—may the optics be ever in your favor.