This may not resonate with all of you, but I’ve dealt with multiple toxic managers at this company and have needed a lot of external support around navigating this political hellscape until I can get out. Thought I’d share a post I found that made me not feel so alone in my experience. I’m sure at least a handful of people can relate.
“If I were a toxic manager trying to get you to leave:
I'd shrink your scope. That project you led for three years? I'm reassigning it. That initiative you built from the ground up? Someone else is taking it over.
But your workload? That stays the same.I'd make feedback impossible to act on. Vague. Contradictory. Changes depending on who's in the room. You used to know exactly where you stood. Now? You're guessing.
I'd stop acknowledging your wins. That deal you closed? Silence. That crisis you handled? Crickets. But that one mistake? I'l mention it. Repeatedly.
I'd erode your influence while increasing your accountability. You're responsible for outcomes but excluded from decisions. Expected to deliver but not consulted on strategy.
I'd isolate you. The meetings happen without you. The Slack channels go quiet. Your team gets reassigned. You're still here-but you're not really part of anything anymore.
Nothing here is fireable.
That's the point.
Because if I fire you, the company owes you severance.
But if you leave on your own?
You get nothing.
So I'll make you think:
"Maybe it's me. Maybe I've lost my edge. Maybe it's just time to go."
And you leave. Believing it was your choice.
————————————
If this sounds familiar, you need to hear this: You didn't suddenly stop being capable.
Your toxic leader sees you as a threat and shifted the game to make you doubt that.
All that strategic thinking they're sidelining? That leadership they're undermining? That expertise they stopped valuing?
That's exactly what you need to build something of your own.
Where your scope doesn't shrink.
Where your voice doesn't get silenced.
Where you're never labeled "difficult" for having standards.
You didn't outgrow your capability.
You outgrew a leader who needed you small.
No more shrinking.
No more second-guessing.
No more playing small under a leader who needed to make you disappear.
You've spent years building their empire.
It's time to build yours.