Thread regarding Fluor Corp. layoffs

A message From David Seaton

Hello my peeps. I'm very excited to tell you about all of the exciting things happening at Fluor. First I would like to tell you about all of the new work coming up. There is a purple Barney dinosaur choo choo train project. This is a $200,000 dollar FEED project and we are very confident we are in a good position to get detailed engineering. I just got back from the project kick off where I got to wear a really cool choo choo cap. Whoooo whoooo

Next up we are partnering with our Yap office to build a strip mall on this Micronesian island where Im very proud to announce the anchor store will be a dollar store. The dollar is very strong against the Raj and we anticipate a huge profit as they are a stand alone office. Last but not least, little Susie Baker from Springfield Ohio has purchased a mousetrap game and has selected Fluor as PMC. This is a 6 billion dollar project and we are very proud to announce this will be a self perform project out of our Somalian office. We do anticipate transportation issues in and out of the port but we have factored this into the budget.

Next on the agenda is the backlog.

Next up I am very proud to announce the 2016 winner of Innovation Unwrapped. It is Okay Roomba. The concept is simple, as all of the old people die off, we are left with millinials. A camera is fastened to a Roomba and at certain times of the day project management can say Okay Roomba and Roomba will patrol the project floor and capture everyone on the phone, on the internet and watching Netflix. We still are working out the next step of accountability as we never did work that out with the baby boomers. Stay tuned for further accountability announcements.

Im very excited about all of the imperatives we have surrounding data. As we strive to become more of a data centric company, our CIO has assured me we have invested in the latest technology. IBM has purchased floppy disks, mainframes and we have placed utmost importance in hiring COBOL trained new grads. Our clients are very impressed where we are heading in the new data centric environment.

Next I am so proud to be able to say all of the new buzzwords I have learned. Self perform comstruction, integration, Third gen modularization.

People have died.

Next we have placed a strong emphasis on Kwality. People, we have Kwality coming out of the ying yang. Just the other day someone shouted out to me, "But he isnt wearing anything at all!"

Lastly I have been told to thank everyone for their hard work and dedication.

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Post ID: @OP+IXaMETz

8 replies (most recent on top)

Need more high energy post like this one, thanks for the laugh

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Post ID: @jOlqj+IXaMETz

good luck on your journey and thanks for not supporting engineering/ construction. Also Thank you for supporting the idea of ‘half’ cubicles. We have empty buildings across the US with people working on half cubicles , I guess thats part of the Fluor innovation program. And please take your other clown friend Dan Spinks. Lets clean house and bring Fluor back. !

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Post ID: @fWxfj+IXaMETz

David Seaton was a joke, striving for profit (to his pocket ) and not quality. His monologue ‘send everything to new dehli’ w no planning. What a joke!

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Post ID: @fVepx+IXaMETz

Sir Seaton and little Suzy. 😱 He's such a moron with no concern for anyone. Of course his top level butt kissers are morons too. Oh and just because Seaton hasn't been booted, the entire board are morons too. At least his old hr lead was getting some at work.

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Post ID: @6shmy+IXaMETz

In response to an unmatched and catastrophic Safety record in the industry we have our solution. We now have 12 Safety videos we need to watch. Such a strong response from our leaders to go with the trail of bodies we have left behind in the last few years.

Between the Safety record and repeated missed earnings, Mr Seaton is in trouble. Do not think he survives '17.

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Post ID: @diqx+IXaMETz

This just in. Acme ENC has just been named as construction partner on the mousetrap project. Little Susie Baker brought in Acme due to Fluor's cost over runs and schedule slippage. There is also concern about Kwality.

Acme is a small (10 employees) company located in Bumfuck North America. Acme's president (D--k Tater) is very excited to partner with Fluor to help bring construction costs down and establish a standard safety program for Fluor to follow.

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Post ID: @8jdh+IXaMETz

Fluor partnered with little Susie Baker because she is the licensor for the bathtub contraption the man falls into.

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Post ID: @1vvb+IXaMETz

I can't believe Okay Roomba beat out my submission. Hello Fluor Echo. I was working on a voice command project self perform app.

Alexa, build me a self perform construction, Third gen modularzation, offshore fabrication, COE self perform project.

I was still working on debugging. I kept getting error messages like, Engineer Puhleeze and this does not compute and this is not possible. I will keep trying to make this work since Seaton says it is possible. Oh well, there's next year. Congratulations Okay Roomba team from the Nauru office!

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Post ID: @eti+IXaMETz

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