You're working for a corporation where your boss is your champion and support. After a few years, you feel it is time for a change and I started signaling that you're ready for your next internal move. Your boss does not take kindly to this and a hostage situation develops as your boss "bans" you from looking for other internal roles, isolates you from senior management and micromanages your performance as a way of asserting control, openly discrediting you in front of colleagues and "threatening" to k–l your future career if you showed disobedience or continue on that path.
Bosses who hold their staff hostage are infantilizing them — they are controlling every aspect of their work/career. It triggers a hostage crisis where the boss seizes, isolates, monitors and brings the "infant" back to a state of dependency and parental control. The thing about controlling bosses is that they intentionally isolate you from others; they want to manage everything about you, including your reputation. It is important to understand the political dimension of what is happening to you and build powerful allies and mentors, often in a higher position or "above their head" but be aware, your abductor will seek to block any alliance building.
You can also:
- Speak out. Directly naming the behavior and its impact is high risk but can lead to a cessation of hostilities.
- You can also make a formal complaint to senior management or the HR representative. Take note though, in large organizations, the hierarchy tends to side with the supervisor so invest time in looking into the organizational track record of dealing with such complaints. There is always the option for formal legal proceedings if things cannot be resolved to your satisfaction but that should always be a last resort.
- Walk away.
Remember you and your skills are of VALUE and that is why s/he doesn't want to lose you. It is natural for you to want to seek growth and that should be encouraged in a healthy work environment. If this is not being supported, you always have the choice to resign, but do this after careful thought and planning. Direct your focus onto the next step to avoid getting caught up in the frustration of the situation. The key is to maintain a dignified and professional attitude, not to please them but to secure your future.
Fear, finances and generally just trying to survive causes us to oftentimes hold the gun to our own heads — we allow ourselves to be infantilised, manipulated and threatened and thus we fail to recognize the choices we have.
“...last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Hope this helps anyone struggling to navigate this situation.