Good times ahead.
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Down 1% today.
What does that say?
Is Oracle Lay-off Cloud Service (OLOCS) fully autonomous?
Perfect, and yes, it has to be since when it gets to the end there’s no one left to turn out the lights. It uses AI so that it never, ever makes a mistake. Communication with terminated employees is performed bu automatically generated emails and bots (all multi lingual, naturally). Additionally, Larry said we know it works since we are using it now , “eating our own dog food” so to speak. Finally, integrations are pre-built to HCM, “talent management”, and ERP, for a nominal extra charge of course, so it’s as if RIFed employees never existed in the first place. They’re just gone ...poof. This is a valuable feature because the latest HR research shows that RIFs can be very traumatic to any remaining HR personnel - we all know how important it is to avoid HR PTSD, right??
Is Oracle Lay-off Cloud Service (OLOCS) fully autonomous? If not, it definitely should be. That could be the cornerstone of its future market positioning. An autonomous database that automagically lays off every employee it finds. No DBA needed!
Wall Street loves layoffs
Wall Street loves layoffs
Actually it’s because of the Oracle Lay-off Cloud Service (OLCS) announcement
Trump called Larry to bid for Tik Tok, and Larry obliged, hence the increase in stock price ...not because of any radical product release.
They have definitely hired some new writers!
It’s the silver lining. Great news!!
The stock market, not unlike a psycopath, likes bloodbaths. And yet another one happened yesterday so there's your little treat in return.
Are you serious ? Is this a joke?
You're impressed by 2% increase.
Unless you're sarcastic.