Thread regarding Oracle Corp. layoffs

I would recommend going somewhere else. Much better culture and products at smaller companies.

The best advice for you is to Run and Hide...

Can you cook? Kitchen help always are in demand!

Ocacle is a great place to work

Hopefully your ability to actually do productive work is higher than your Ivy League ability to troll, which is a 3 out of 10.

Weak. Very weak.

You can’t do any better? Sigh.

Given the stress, I recommend you practice relaxing, e.g., take a yoga class, prior to taking a job at Oracle. Then, invest in knee pads and astroglide and you will be good to go. Heck, with your resume and these new skills you might even learn to like Oracle. -HTH

And you come to a layoff site to get help to be hired? Perhaps you have confused top and bottom.

I am about to graduate from an Ivy League college top of my class. I got offers from every Ivy League school but chose Stanford. I heard Oracle is a cool company and big in cloud so I want to work there. How can I work there?

Hey, OP, Re-read what you posted.

1. You are about to graduate from an Ivy League school
2. Contradicting your own statement #1 you “chose Stanford”
3. Based on statements #1 and #2 it follows that you are actually stupid enough to want to work at Oracle
4. My guess is you also enjoy getting reamed, in which case you’re going to LOVE working under Larry — he’ll consider you a “perfect fit” for your work relationship with him

Troll score 4/10

Should not be difficult for you. Practically any loser off the street can sleaze into a job at Oracle these days. No talent required on your part whatsoever.

Actual talent is applying for work elsewhere, so you won't have any competition and should be able to write your own ticket. Have fun!!

This is a joke, right?

If you really are top of your class, you should have higher ambitions.