Thread regarding ExxonMobil Corp. layoffs

The strangest damn people on earth walk the EMHC. Amazingly, most of them don’t even realize it. Biggest collection of uptight humorless nerds on earth. And it’s really not their fault. Years of that demented culture does it to a person.

Nice - but you forgot to mention your date demanding that you have taken the driver training CBT and that the restaurant workers have all sat through food safety training on an auditable portal (such as WebCat).

Also, when they dump you, your date will ask you to sign an NDA and a waiver while offering you the chance of another date after you have passed a 3-month performance improvement course on saying “yes!” In interpersonal relationships. Of course, your date’s targets will be impossible to achieve.

First, your date would check if you have passed appropriate Gate reviews regarding chewing and drinking. Then conducts JSA (job safety analysis) before entering restaurant to check cleanliness, permits, handrails, etc. Date demands largest table be moved to center of dining room for their maximum visibility, but seats you in shadow. After dressing down staff, date rejects menus and orders for both. No appetizer for you, as you haven't done anything to earn it. Reminds you to keep head slightly bowed and not speak, as you are in the presence of immense wisdom and greatness. Asks if you know PowerPoint, but doesn't wait for answer. Chews food loudly and drinks directly from wine bottle because they can. Leaves restaurant without saying anything more to you, other than reminder to not put meal on company credit card or else. As they walk past the window, you notice there is no reflection. Date texts you that you are unworthy and have been removed from all dating apps; you will never date again. You feel old, tired and worthless. Same date repeats every day for eternity.

Let’s assume you invited your date home for dinner. First, He would require you to fill out a form telling how you would keep Him safe. He would insist on safety knives, unbreakable glasses, chairs bolted to the floor so that they wouldn’t tip over, etc. He would then proceed to have a big “accident” in your home. He would tell you how lucky you were that it was Him and not some other fashionable European or Californian guy who ruined your apartment. It would take you 15 years of court cases (appealed to the Supreme Court) to get even a partial payment for the damages that He caused.

Make you wait hours for them to get ready but instead of coming out dressed for the date they are naked with a carrot in their butt.

Super classy during at your first meeting. They can hold a good conversation and maybe it even feels deep. You definitely feel like there's some type of connection. Heck, they even pick up the bill!

After a lovely dinner, you decide to go out for drinks. Maybe they light up a c-gare–e walking to the car. Hey, no biggie. It's something that you would have like to have known since you're not a smoker yourself but it's not a deal breaker – they look pretty amazing and seem to have a pretty good personality.

You arrive at a bar and you're being outpaced in drinks. It's okay though, they are just having a good time. The conversation is getting a bit dersive but with the alcohol flowing this is probably to expected. You continue to go along with it adding in your own nervous chuckle every now-and-then.

Later in the evening, the drinking has shown no signs of slowing down. Do they even have a limit? You've been ridiculed a few times for looking at your phone as you were responding to your friends saying "yeah, I'm still alive lol."

They're smoking in a non-smoking area. The manager's has politely asked them to stop but they've made no effort to even heed their request. You wonder if people are lumping you with their glares and looks of disgust. Your date still looks good but that personality that was there is falling very short.

Sure, you have standards, but c'mon, your date is pretty good looking. Let's take this party home and see where the night takes you.

You wake up the next day in a foggy haze. Not sure what happened to the past few hours you begin worry about your health & well-being.

But wait - your date is still here. They're coming from your restroom clearly high on something as they stumble back and forth mutter some kind of nonsense about how great they are and how awesome everything is. You, however, think otherwise.

Nervously, you awkwardly bring up questions in an attempt to broach the topic regarding if you should go get checked. They don't acknowledge your concerns. "I'm the very best," they respond. They ask you for some money for a taxi home.

As your date leaves the room, you wonder if you were to blame for not seeing the signs earlier in the evening.