Thread regarding California Resources Corporation layoffs

Wow! It's so fresh.

Fresh!
New!
Sporty!
s-xy!
Oh, no. That's just that t–d of the company, CRC, with some new wrapping paper.

Fast forward to the Town Hall. "We're setting sail! Bring in the investors!" Fleece! Fleece! Fleece! (cue triumphant and inspiring self selection speech) "If you don't want to be here...self select yourself out! (the crowd roars...yet little do they know they cheer for their own demise).

Fresh blood!
College interns!
Unsuspecting investors!
Green initiatives!
Public Relations!

We Are Back Baby!!

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| 1627 views | | 2 replies (last )
Post ID: @OP+18fWsQVn

2 replies (most recent on top)

Job requirements for a typical CRC manager:
Overweight
Entitled
Narcissistic
Undue Confidence
Bigoted
Petty
Uninspiring
Ability to watch others suffer without intervening a bonus
Little to no ethical standards for self or others a bonus
Little to no outside enjoyments or interests in life a bonus
Little to no empathy a bonus

We are looking for company men, those have been robbed of joy and that will carry out mindless and senseless duties with severe urgency. Seeking out highly unskilled individuals, preferably without people skills, to drive our initiative of existing without purpose or consensus, while promoting our apathetic journey to serve our lord and saviors of upper management and Todd Stevens. Our primary focus is to add value to those above us, to settle for mediocrity in some of the most god awful places in order to ensure that our lord and saviors can maintain their posh lifestyles far away from the misery.

If this is you please forward your resume to: crc_is_still_a_joke@crc.com

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Post ID: @nqu+18fWsQVn

I did try to self select myself out. after the last round, I asked my manager if I could get a severance package and the bonus for my 2020 contributions and I'll also leave.

I didn't say 'self select'. I said 'help the company out'.

My manager said no. lol.

If in the next speech they can say "self select yourself and we'll give you the severance package". the same roar will happen. Except this time it's the roar of people signing up for the package!

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Post ID: @hmz+18fWsQVn

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