Thread regarding Wells Fargo & Co. layoffs

Agile....

This week I was on-boarded to Agile .... Yay! I'm going to be more productive!

So the next day....
I spent an hour trying to add my epic's and tasks
I spent another 1.5 hours attending meetings for the 3 boards I'm on where we all talked about....seemingly....the 12 steps to curing our problems
I then spent another hour on regular meetings for things not yet Agile....get with it people!! Don't you know that you are holding me back?
But wait...! My epics have no components!! Oh no!! Call the scrum masters, call the Agile teams, its an EMERGENCY
At the end of the day I spent an hour updating my tasks and subtasks with what I'd done...and yes you guessed it, I listed "attended meetings"
The next day was more of the same, and I thought OK, I can get used to this
Now I'm a Wh-z at Agile, I spend my whole day finding more things to add to the board
I've been told "atta boy, you are doing great!"
Except....
Whatever I was hired for, seems so old and obsolete now, my whole existence is spent on my Agile boards, thinking up new stuff to put in and its great
Meeting - check. Close out task.
Phone call - check. Close out task.
Make coffee - check. Close out task.
Chat with cube neighbor - check. Close out task.
Call boss and inform how many tasks I'm working - check. Close out task.
Bathroom break - check. Close out task. Er, ok scratch that one......
Wow the time flies, the day's over....can't wait for tomorrow and the new tasks I'm going to create!!!!!
I love Agile!!!!

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Post ID: @OP+1eWcZI1k

23 replies (most recent on top)

“ Other major issue is dependent tech teams like any middlware/DevOps/security groups. They all hide behind their 8 million Jira boards and request to be spoon fed a ticket anytime there is a question/issue. ”

And this stems from executive management wanting to know where all the toil/blockers are for these teams. So they tell us to track everything we do. How best to do that? Yep, make people submit formal requests that are tracked in SN or Jira or whatever tool. So you just move the toil from one bucket to another and never address the root cause. It’s awesome

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Post ID: @2lmw+1eWcZI1k

Pro Agile person here... Yea, it isn't Agile, it is how WF (and other large banks) implement it. They basically take their giant tu-d SDLC process, and wrap it in Jira and Confluence. I still have PMs putting waterfall schedules in front of me... When implemented correctly, you can basically get rid of most project manager/PMO functions. Other major issue is dependent tech teams like any middlware/DevOps/security groups. They all hide behind their 8 million Jira boards and request to be spoon fed a ticket anytime there is a question/issue. That is a culture problem, basically built an organization where blockers are normal, since Dev teams aren't empowered to do anything useful. And yes, all the stupid dash boards and logging hours is a waste. The POs are woefully unengaged, they should drive the agile process and they just sit in meetings and spin their wheels and ask when we can deliver to Prod.

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Post ID: @2tfy+1eWcZI1k

As soon as you realize that what WF is calling "Agile" isn't actually "Agile," you'll do much better. What we've got here basically a top ten list of "How Not to do Agile." Just accept it and move on.

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Post ID: @1rir+1eWcZI1k

Waterfall + WF Fu@ckups = Sh-t
Agile + WF Fu@ckups = Sh-t

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Post ID: @1age+1eWcZI1k

I'd never heard the term "Waterfall" before. Granted that it's a software development thing, which has nothing to do with what my group does.

Now, whenever we're critical of "Agile" they throw the word "waterfall" at us, like it's some kind of boogyman. Total straw-man arguement.

Add 1 more vote here to the "Agile Sucks" tally.

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Post ID: @1etx+1eWcZI1k

Agile is supposed to be individuals over process and tools. The reality of Agile is the exact opposite. It's all about the tools (Jira, Confluence) and process. Lots and lots of process.

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Post ID: @1rsp+1eWcZI1k

Nah, one must not confuse Agile with WF “Agile”. Agile is fine; WF “Agile” is much like everything with the WF name attached to it…

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Post ID: @1win+1eWcZI1k

The pro agile people on this topic are the same bootlickers that are pro Vax mandate. Spineless yes man cucks

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Post ID: @1wib+1eWcZI1k

Agile is a sham. Same old cult BS, more red tape and speedbumps. Six Sigma was no better, and still had know-nothings leading groups because they were "certified" in it. Trying to force everyone into one way of work - doesn't work. People learn in different ways, interact in different ways, and work in different ways. No way is more valuable or better, as long as work is getting done correctly.

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Post ID: @1inl+1eWcZI1k

Agile has been an absolute disaster in my group. Maybe it's good for software development teams, but at the end of the day it's nothing but red-tape and nonsensical meetings for everyone else. Plus yet another layer of dotted-line management.

The root of the problem is that the leadership thinks the word "agile" is synonomous with "nimble".

It. Is. Not.

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Post ID: @1zsj+1eWcZI1k

Wells Fargo is doing waterfall dressed up with Agile terminology to allow managment to feel good and say they're doing "Agile." All the information should be available to anyone in JIRA dashboards.

#2 in the Agile Manifesto: Working software over comprehensive documentation

Wells forgets all of this in their upside down (or maybe I should say top-down?) "Agile" implementation.

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Post ID: @1ige+1eWcZI1k

@ztr+1eWcZI1k like most things this place rolls out it's always tweeked to whatever mgmt wants, not as it is. Teams that do not develop/manage software or tech are also using it. And while there may be translatable parts, process mgrs are just making it a fancy notepad they can play around with to see what the team is doing. It's stupid.

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Post ID: @1ksu+1eWcZI1k

Before Agile: 7 hours a day working, 1 hour doing admin/meeting
After Agile: 1 hour working, 7 hours doing admin/meetings

I have to create all the user stories, tasks etc.. the PO has no clue

I have to deal with getting chewed out for not putting burn rate hours in daily so some guy looking at a power point deck in management could feel all warm and fuzzy there's progress. However they have no clue if its good progress or if things need to change, the voice at the bottom is never heard, they just like seeing graphs.

I have to fill out a half dozen status update slides on where we are and then go to the same 3 meetings to explain the same roadblocks over and over week after week

If i hit a roadblock the scrum master says they will help sort it out, but instead they sort out nothing and push it burden 300% back on you for raising an issue. They want a slide on the problem, they want a meeting with the other party, they want an explanation for their scrum management etc..

I complain to management about the issues of agile and nothing gets modified in the process.

Indians after about 3mo get the agile game and work in a coordinated fashion to work as little as possible. They either do this by exploding out the work into a thousand steps or use the work needs modification trump card. Americans i notice like to just show more hours for a task. Management thinks they're making progress with all these hours showing up on slides. Management thinks of humans as machines and what do they get, machines that adapt to the game.

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Post ID: @pio+1eWcZI1k

Agile has been around for quite some time. If you can’t pick up something new, just call it quits, retire, and live in a van.

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Post ID: @lwr+1eWcZI1k

Agile is not a silver bullet. Teams that produce bad outcomes will produce bad outcome with agile as well as waterfall. We can make everyone feel better for a year or two while we f-around with this....

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Post ID: @mgo+1eWcZI1k

From what I have seen, most teams are pretending to be Agile. All of SVB's metrics are great. Wait for the pain when true agile kicks in.

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Post ID: @hvg+1eWcZI1k

I know nothing about Agile but it sure just sounds like it is a time tracker for managers to justify FTE count. They may as well have you punch a time clock for the lack of respect they have for you as professionals.

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Post ID: @iik+1eWcZI1k

don't forget to list the hour you spent writing this post to complain about agile

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Post ID: @jqs+1eWcZI1k

Tell me you don’t know Agile, without telling me you don’t know Agile

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Post ID: @ztr+1eWcZI1k

Just wait till the d-mb retrospective. Agile is full of red tape , never wasted more time in meetings in my life till I met a agile coach

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Post ID: @adj+1eWcZI1k

Attitudes like this are exactly why it takes so long to get Agile implemented in old, stodgy companies.

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Post ID: @jmz+1eWcZI1k

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