Transcript: Jamie Dimon Slams Remote Work, Calls for Efficiency and In-Person Commitment

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JD: A lot of you were on the fu--ing Zoom and you were doing the following, okay? You know, looking at your mail, sending texts to each other about what an a--hole the other person is, okay? Not paying attention, not reading your stuff, you know?
And if you don't think that slows down efficiency, creativity, creates rudeness, it does, okay? And when I found out that people are doing that, you don't do that at my godda-n meetings. You're going to meet with me.
You've got my attention. You've got my focus. I don't bring my godda-n phone. I'm not sending texts to people, okay? It simply doesn't work. And it doesn't work for creativity. It slows down decision-making.
And don't give me the sh-t to work from home Friday works. I call a lot of people on Friday. They're not a godda-n person to get a hold of. But here are the problems, okay? And they are substantial, okay?
Which is the young generation is being damaged by this. That may or may not be on your particular staff, but they are being left behind. They're being left behind socially, ideas, meeting people. In fact, my guess is most of you live in communities a he-l of a lot less diverse than this room.
Every area should be looking to be 10% more efficient. If I was ready to department 100 people, I guarantee you, if I wanted to, I could run it with 90 and be more efficient. I guarantee you, I could do it in my sleep.
And the notion, these bureaucracies, I need more people, I can't get it done. No, because you're feeling that request that don't need to be done. Your people are going to meetings they don't need to go to.
Someone told me to prove something as wealth management, that they had to go to 14 committees. I am dying to get the name of the 14 committees. And I feel like firing 14 chairman of committees. I can't stand it anymore.
Now, you have a choice. You don't have to work at JP Morgan. So the people of you who don't want to work at the company, that's fine with me. I'm not mad at you. Don't be mad at me. It's a free country.

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13 replies (most recent on top)

Creating a culture where everyone works just hard enough to keep from getting fired and no more.

JD’s ranting will echo across each employee as a bitter old man who throws a fit when people don’t see things his way. How dare anyone have a different opinion than he, the leader, does. A petition requesting that work from home stay in play, how dare anyone be a free thinker without his permission.

Back in the old days boss bully tactics worked, not so much today.

Luigi’s mansion was a good game

@cb+1jm6ymrjd 100%

This guy needs mental health counseling.... Badly

Anybody who says he's wrong about people side texting/slacking about people in zoom meetings has never worked remotely or has no friends. It's true. Our general focus during meetings is inherently less concentrated than it was in person because we are staring at a screen that is a literal distraction machine once the side comments come in. And even that is assuming you have the meeting up to fully focus on instead of your emails or whatever web browsing you want to be doing anyway.

@c5+1jm6ymrjd That's not happening. Now we have outsourced managers interviewing candidates and no US members to meet when getting to know JPM. True shithole.

Jamie’s right. We should also bring back milk deliveries, smoking in the office, and outhouses. Let’s sp-t in the face of progress and turn back the hands of time because that how businesses succeed.

Jamie’s had a very successful career. But at this point he sounds like an old man yelling at the clouds. Dinosaurs went extinct for a reason. Jamie is too old to adapt. It’s time for the board to move on.

he needs to stay we are nothing without him!!

Its about time we stopped outsourcing.

blah blah blah - retire old man

He’s right imo

Thread regarding JPMorgan Chase & Co. layoffs

Transcript: Jamie Dimon Slams Remote Work, Calls for Efficiency and In-Person Commitment

13 replies (most recent on top)

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