The constant stress from work, the growing pile of tasks, and the uncertainty of my job security are pushing me to my limits. Add in ongoing anxiety and depression, and it’s been too much to handle. My blood pressure is dangerously high, and I’m feeling the physical toll. Sadly, quitting isn't an option, but I can't keep going like this. I hate this place.
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I watched an interview with a lady who escaped North Korea and it helped me understand that a lot of the worries I had don’t matter and the nasty liars I work with aren’t worth the worry. So perspective is everything. I don’t have a chip on my shoulder so it’s easy for me to accept my leadership doesn’t have any plans for me, but I still get paid and am alive. So do the best you can and survive. If you wanna worry, worry about the customers who get the shaft because of dysfunctional management.
Small tips:
- walking pad and standing desk if you work from home
- hold yourself to your hours (8-4:30 or whatever they are) and dont let yourself work more
- obviously I have no clue your financial situation, but do anything you can to have an emergency fund in savings for if you lose your job. Having even 2 months of living expenses saved will drastically reduce your stress about job security. Recently, I cancelled a ton of subscription services and overall drastically reduced spending to temporarily to build up my safety fund
Do you work from home? Use the time for yourself and work out. It'll help all those symptoms you mentioned. It's pretty easy to knock out a few sets of bodyweight exercises in between or during calls. On each rep, chant "IDGAF" in your head and I guarantee you'll feel better.
Job is not everything. If you have to choose between job and life, which one do you choose? I had worked for a company that required me to be on call during the middle of the night for almost a year. I got woken up randomly during the night, and had developed the sleep problem since then. Still the company sold us to another company that later laid us off. My lesson is “don’t bend yourself to the job!” Enjoy your life when you can!
I had to start seeing a therapist because of Cigna’s work environment. It’s toxic. I’m no therapist but here’s what I’ve learned.
1- go outside every day and walk. I listen to podcasts.
2- every couple of hours, step outside and face the sun.
3- start looking for another job.
4- skip all conference calls where you are not absolutely required.
5- when you start thinking negative, set a timer for one minute and thinking about something you are grateful for and why.
6- do not work extra hours.
7- stop talking to negative people at work and limit how much you look at this site.
I hope this helps. You are not alone.
Get out for a good walk everyday, or do some other kind of workout, if you're not already. It'll help. Good luck!
Beware EAP and Behavior Health engagement and related outcomes may not be in your best interest. You may be better off prioritizing and planning scope of your work tasks and deliverables - outcomes…
i'm really sorry you're experiencing this. i doubt this page will offer much help but i've been where you are. If quitting isn't an option these are things I did that helped: looked for other opportunities internally and externally. Utilizing EAP or the MDlive behavioral health services may help with the anxiety and even your blood pressure. Make sure you're taking the breaks that are required by law for Cigna to give you. Setting those boundaries is really hard when you're overworked but that's when they are even more important. I understand none of this is going to solve the underlying issue but it may help :-(