Thread regarding ExxonMobil Corp. layoffs

Best practices on how to quiet quit.

After the town hall meeting there's been an increased interest on the topic of quiet quitting, so I thought I could share here some best practices that I have mastered during the last couple of years.

1-Perception is critical. You need to appear to be working, so get into the office early, before your supervisor for sure, and make sure he/she sees you at your desk every morning.
2-Working from home is a big no, it hurts perceptions so you'll have to make the commute every morning.
3-find a desk close enough to the supervisor but not too close. This will allow you to be seen every morning when the supervisor checks in, but not while you pretend working.
4-Now, this is a trick that has been working for me like a charm. Tell your supervisor that you have joined a vanpool. Yes!, this gives you the perfect excuse and entitlement to leave a 3:45PM "because you need to catch the van" and to decline to any meetings after 3:30.
5-Show up to ALL meetings and be there always 3 min earlier. You gotta be the first in the room or in the zoom call. Again, perception is key.
6-Bring with you a notebook and a nice pen and never a coffe cup and your phone. This is really important, it shows the facade that you are focused and committed.
7-Underpromise and Overdeliver. Again perception is key, when you make a promise to complete a project or task, estimate how long it wil take you and multiply that by 3. Then deliver a bit more and a bit early. Not too much, just a little, you just want to shift perceptions, not to actually overwork yourself.
8-Bring your own lunch and make sure you don't eat until your supervisor walks by your desk in his/her way to lunch. This has the same effect as 1.
9-During meetings never offer an opinion or an answer, make others talk. You can accomplish this by asking questions but never with a tone that would put people in the defensive, asks neutral questions like "could you expand on...", "would you break down for me ....", pretend you care to listen and take notes in your notebook while the questions are being answered. It doesn't matter what you write, it's just about creating the illusion that you care.
10-Read the mood of the room. If someone is getting agitated or nasty, let this person dig his/her own hole, never defend, never attack, keep calm, collected, neutral, diplomatic, and if you open your mouth, say something that bring about concensus and shifts the negative mood to a more neutral one.
11-Make small talk with the supervisor. How was your weekend? How are the kids? Pretend you care. You can flip your finger secretely to the douchebag in the solitude of your home if you must but never in person.
12-volunteer to "mentor" a younger person. This is key. Occasionally you will be expected to deliver something. This is when having a mentoree pays off, you can delegate 95% of the work to the newbie and take credit for it. Also, it looks great in yoru PDS form.
13-Repeat 1-12 with perfect consistency. This is also key, the supervisor needs to see this every day, every meeting, every task. The objective is to create the illusion of impeccability.

Good luck to all in your quest to perfect the art.

Please feel free to add other suggestions you see fit.

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| 2942 views | | 7 replies (last ) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1l7uZfMl

7 replies (most recent on top)

“Quiet quitting” was a term cooked-up by the likes of Fortune and Business Insider to refer to those who work within their job description for the agreed upon compensation in pejorative terms. Unionized workers know this as “working to rule”. It is not a bad thing.

These businesses are not your friends. They never were. They will mercilessly exploit you to wring every last drop of productivity, and they will say/do almost anything to avoid paying you what you’re worth for the work that you perform.

Coincidentally, these same publications have taken the lead in demonizing remote workers and cheering for a recession (you’ll be pressed to find an article published during the past year that doesn’t contain the words “looming recession” in either publication). Your boss and his boss read this garbage, and it informs how he treats you.

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Post ID: @1dww+1l7uZfMl

This doesn’t sound like quiet quitting. This sounds like what ExxonMobil defines as working.

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Post ID: @1mtx+1l7uZfMl

#14 - master the art of the “zombie agreement nod” during forums or important meetings. The occasional bobbing of the head in agreement as if the speaker is talking just to you has a great impact on your perception of dedication with management. Bonus points for laughing out loud to any jokes they make.

Watch for the nods, they will keep you entertained in group settings for sure.

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Post ID: @1ujn+1l7uZfMl

I thought this was a joke but thats how you get promoted in corporate jobs

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Post ID: @1nol+1l7uZfMl

....And my desk will be super hot ! LOL

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Post ID: @1nla+1l7uZfMl

Well heck, I'll just wear only my best ling--ie in my new hot deskin' role!

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Post ID: @1zte+1l7uZfMl

On a serious note, the op is presenting some totally on point advice. Perfectly hit the nail on the head!

As he or she says, perception is reality.

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Post ID: @rnw+1l7uZfMl

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