What’s Good for the Gander . . .
I’m best at working behind the scenes
With lies, manipulation, elaborate schemes
And my name you won’t find
In 10Q or 10K of any kind
My tactic of choice? Microsoft Teams!
Ethernet, conduit, nodes and antennae
Industry terms I can’t comprehend – well they’re many
Those things are for nerds
I’m better with words
Like “For relocation, you won’t get a penny”
My actions at Crown are done without hate, without malice
This rictus affixed to my face isn’t callous
It’s just how I act
With avarice intact
Now relocate to Houston! (not Dallas)
Lower costs and increased margins, the Castle and I need ‘em
Just mosey to Texas, together we’ll reap ‘em
In Crown you should trust
“Our benefits are robust!”
You just have to move to Houston to keep ‘em
Like most of Crown fiber, Southpointe soon will lie fallow
My influence there has always run deep (not shallow)
HR I’ve rebranded
Multiple RIFs I’ve demanded
Trust me, Houston’s not really the same as the gallows
So Southpointe, I’ll sweep away your wailin’ and cryin’
With beloved Houston, I’m always allyin’
My actions are gallant
“Southpointe has no talent”
And my broom’s meant for more than just flyin’
Now perhaps I’ve acted in a forget-the-law way
But I love Business Support, in a real and a raw way
Now it’s time to come clean
On why I’m so mean
Could it be I’m a spy for Chinese brand Huawei?