I just bought a new Tesla and Sea doo switch boat. What should I do if I get canned? I’m worried I’ll get divorced also and have to pay for child support. Can anyone that’s been in my spot advice? I just started at Nike this summer and thought I landed my dream gig.
18 replies (most recent on top)
Load up on life insurance for your wife. Accidents DO happen after all!
Let her know that if you want that money you go through the courts.
Someone suggested get insurance and push your wife out of a train? Although it might look like it, we're not in New Delhi anymore. In Beaverton you need to use an Uber.
D-mb
A new backfill spouse after a divorce is the answer. The position is open.
When you get canned, it's best to buy more cars, boats, and homes. I highly recommend it. Also, get a bad lawyer in case you go through a divorce. You might just give everything to the wife and max out your credit cards on more stuff.
Good luck.
Yikes… some of the responses on this thread makes me think some of the layoff might be justified If these are the people we expect to be innovating at Nike
I think it's pretty obvious this is a troll post. Funny how many people are trying to offer actual advice.
Don’t feed the trolls
If your are unemployed, your income will be low (UI weekly). Also if not working you can have the kids majority of the time. Either or both scenarios support payment would be minimal. Any smart lady (in it for your money) would not divorce you if you get laid off. Use this Nike panic as the opportunity to reduce your lifestyle so you are financially stable for whatever may happen down the road.
Just make sure the license plate bracket says Nike at the top and proud layoff alumni on the bottom
Return them and spend within your means. Don't live on credit. I thought the same re: dream job. Nike approached and recruited me, then moved my family across the world. My role was eliminated less than 2 years later.
Get yourself a Nike license plate first
Why would you buy all that stuff right after landing a job??
Wow.
Call HR and tell them that you are going to change your pronouns to SHE/HER and that now you are a woman. They might promote you and give you a raise, but they will not fire you.
Sell the car. Sell the jet ski. Sell the boat. Sell the Sprinter Van. Cancel any vacations. Move money
It’s best to prepare. If you are worried about divorce, move money to separate accounts immediately. Luckily if you lose job your income will be zero and so alimony would be less. Fight like absolute he-l for split custody if kids or you’ll be a broke deadbeat dad living in some bedroom in Hillsboro with a Costco folding table as a coffee table and a twin aero bed to sleep on.
How do I know? :-)
Make sure to get a good life insurance for your wife and push her out of a train or something. You are going to be able to keep your Tesla, boat and buy a nice motorcycle. Problem solved.
Man shut up