Please feel free to add tips for others to follow.
One useful tip is start looking around while things settled and if possible, make sure you are getting along great with your manager since you don't want to be the first he/she picks to go.
18 replies (most recent on top)
Avoid layoff by taking the VSP.
Avoid layoff by getting a job at another company.
The way I survived layoffs in 2009:
- - Become an expert at a very niche area. For example, be the only one who can fix the tool, make sure it's not in any procedure and make sure everyone knows you are the only one who can fix it. When someone asks you to show them, just throw your hands in the air and tell them you're too f*"kn busy.
- On night shifts, spend many hours missing or asleep in the pod.
- Find a PC in a hidden area in the fab and log on and spend all of your time playing games online or reading interesting forums. When a manager comes in, get up and run around like a blue ar-e fly. When he asks you if you can achieve the targets for the shift, throw your hands in the air and shout " I'm alone here!".
- Show up at work looking like you just came from a building site and slept in the bin behind the canteen.
- When you see the manager who will ultimately decide your fate, walk by him like you are on the way to perform emergency surgery to save a child's life.
Kiss a&€%# and bullsh-t all the way up.
- Offer to serve coffee to your management team whilst taking a cut in pay
- Public announcement regarding your planned gender transition
- Disappear by hiding in a closet during working hours
- Convey stress related mental instability but defecating on your managers desk
There are many ways to pause your demise
I was servicing the Assistant to the Regional Manager to keep my job and then I found out there was no such position. Ba--s.
Work for a company that isn’t going bankrupt like Intel is right now.
I am having an affair with an AM and I am not sure that will be enough.
Be an excellent dancer
Look for another job outside of Intel.
Best way to avoid layoffs in tech is to become an Indian!
Best way is do not work for Intel.
Dear management. Your powerpoint presentations won’t help ya anymore. Soon someone’s going to ask you exactly what the fu-k your “team” actually does and you better have a detailed answer, not just roll ups. How about getting your hands dirty and doing some real work for a change?
Start giving envelope with cash inside to your managers ladder. Tell them it’s for Christmas. Do this every week. You may have a hope.
If left to my FLM only, I will be on the chopping block for ISP.
Low level managers should be providing names. I don't know if many people work directly with skip levels. But first line managers are like IT desk managers. Attend 10 meetings even if optional, speak at 1, have your status as busy and tell team to do all the work
If low level Intel Team Managers have a choice of who gets the layoff then this whole thing is a sham. Nepotism and favoritism ARE THE PROBLEM!
Thanks for the bullsh-t advice Manager. You won't have a choice and You may be next.