Thread regarding L-3 Communications Holdings Inc. layoffs

As we waste away pining for the clarification that isn’t coming, those of us who’ve not yet accepted jobs elsewhere need a plan to handle the day to day, do this and don’t do that, come here, go there, act like all is well, when it clearly is not, details of our pitiful lives! (20+ souls have left the building since article questioning our impending demise appeared in The Clarion Ledger two months ago. This week, at least five more have turned in their notice. Obviously, a building with a supposed two-year lease doesn’t need to fall on these folks! No sir!) Until said shifty lease does expire, hell freezes over, Vertexia gets a breast reduction and dies her hair blonde, the situation will continue to devolve. Like any good girl scout, ones needs to know when to fold up the cookie stand, box up the GSA approved stilettos and call it a day. However, there are still badges to be earned! So, an enterprising, survival oriented girl should have a few tricks up her sleeve! (Don’t go there! Oh, all right, you can there, if it will make you feel better. I’ll wait.) To whit, here are some ideas for “sheltering in place” at Hell No , We won’t tell, L-3: 1. MREs– meals ready to eat. Yummy and nutritious; even though you are almost skeletal from the stress, you must try and absorb some vitamins and minerals. Make Centrum your friend! Or, you can always enhance the regular larder with an aged Bourbon (no matter when the axe falls, it will be good-trust me) and a young wine (if the doors don’t shut until say, 2017, it will be perfect!) 2. Get some exercise. Exercise proved to improve release of endorphins, which help mood and well being. Just like a good hamburger, french fries, and a shake! If our gym and its equipment doesn’t suit, go outside! Walk or run around the pond. But, be careful! There’s lots of goose poop. And, there are snakes in the surrounding grasses! No worries, just avoid them the same way you do, when you see them IN the building and you will be fine. 3. Adopt an alter ego, such as: “Vertexia!” Design a costume: Vertexia’s is red, it is skintight, there’s a big “V” emblazoned on the chest, wide black belt and black, thigh high boots. Where’s the infamous “L-3” meatball logo? Well, it bounces on the fanny just like the Playboy bunny’s cottontail. Think Catwoman or Miss November, but with fewer accessories! Wait, you can’t get less accessorized than Miss November. Ooops!) Vertexia spends her day defending the defenseless and trying to right what she perceives as “wrongs.” She may accomplish nothing: trust me, she accomplishes nothing-diddly squat, but she never has to feel she didn’t try. Because trying to do something feels better than accepting the status quo nothing.) 4. Maintain your sense of humor!!! How does one do this in these circumstances? Truthfully, what works for one person, does not work for another. Whatever relaxes you, makes you laugh and isn’t illegal – go for it. A lot. All the time!!! Except when you come to work and then, just pray. 5. Gather some friends, put on some tunes, get a deep voiced dude to rock his best Don Cornelius and play Soul Train’s “Scramble Board” game with virtually anyone on the current Sector Org Chart!!! No matter how you mix up the letters, you end up with “Dick.” Knowing this, you’ll always be a winner! !!! (There is a dirty comment begging to be inserted here, but Vertexia will refrain, as she is working on her “Restraint” badge. Yep, it’s pretty obvious she won’t get that one, but what’s new pussycats?) Temporary hall pass given to anyone not on Sector Org chart prior to May 2015. Lah - lah, lah, lah, lah, - lah, lah! And, finally, Shout out to BB King: Rest in Peace – Music Man, Bluesman – MISSISSIPPI MAN!