Dipshits ratting on me to my supervisor about allegedly jaywalking during my lunch break.
116 replies (most recent on top)
The highly paid consultants (hello BCG !!) telling management what to do..... and our lame management listening to them
Second the nepotism! It's unreal. Just type in a mgr, vp, etcetera in the outlook and check how many are also at chevron with the same last name.
Where do I even start? Made up BBS observations. CPDEP so everyone can micromanage my project. 5,000 people needed to make any decision at any level. Then no one ever making a decision. Ever. Us wasting the BU's money. Emails, phone calls, lync messages, people bothering me in my office over nothing. Quarterly safety meetings, monthly safety meetings, daily safety meetings, sometimes multiple in one day safety meetings. Meetings to plan a meeting to plan. Non-technical people working technical roles. Man, I tear those people apart. 2.3 MPH in the parking garages. People checking my speed in the parking garage. Broken elevators. Processes to do processes. Leaders who don't lead, Leadership classes for young people that will become terrible leaders. All the politicians. All the ass kissing. All the dick sucking. All the ass licking. Incompetence, incompetence, incompetence.
last one with what The Chevron Way will get you if you bend over... has got me laughing so hard, I think I just snapped a rib....AGREE I SPIT MY COFFEE OUT!
Dam somebody stole mine. Bruce's RAP VIDEO! Black guy in the kiddie pool and Bruce throwing money in the air and Mike with his shirt open with gold chains. If someone would post that video it would cause a riot! I would but I did not make a copy!
That last one with what The Chevron Way will get you if you bend over... has got me laughing so hard, I think I just snapped a rib.
Seeing a truly incompetent delusional person get promoted up the chain so you don't have to deal with them!
The biggest sham in corporate history. The Chevron Way....Needs to be replaced by: The Chevron Way to Get F***ed in the ass
We Lead, diversity action plans, hiding when Watson comes into the lunchroom to act like a regular dude, loved the made up BBS observations. I won't miss pretending to give a shit
The blatant nepotism
Trying to have a phone conversation with a person that has an accent so thick they might as well be speaking in their native language. The outcome would be the same.
"Leadership teams" thinking they are real leaders. They are nothing but a bunch of puffed up delusional useless bureaucrats.
CSOC Feedback! What nonsense!
BBS Observations. What a waste. 99.9% are completely made up. I've submitted the same ones every month for years but no one notices (unless I didn't waste a few minutes each month copying and pasting from my word document).
People sending me emails asking for things that they could do themselves, IN LESS TIME than it would take to write the email to me!!!
Commentary drives
I'm glad someone mentioned the stupid 1400 revolving door!
What about the GIL Library on the first floor of 1500. Don't know what I'm talking about? Not surprising. I never went in there and doubt anyone else did either.
What about the multiple badging points entering from the tunnel into 1500 yet you can walk the other direction (from outside the building into the tunnel) with no badge.
Mgmt making bang up decisions: rap videos anyone?
Land.
Ergo reviews!! Please guy, show me how to sit.
Toca. My neighbor says that a lot. For that reason alone, I hate whatever it is.
Micro pauses are so much worse than the actual breaks. Especially with a double monitor. They are easier to not see and mess up work.
People going out of their way to not do what you need them to, even though it would be much easier to do the thing you need done. Why? Because they fear it having any negative repercussions.
DIM units, the see it well.
That last one reminded me: all the badging in!!
The first respondent hit the nail on the head with... So many people involved in the simplest of decisions, but no one wanting to be accountable. My supervisor was always like this. For crying out loud, make an EXECUTIVE DECISION!!!
Workpace and micropause breaks. What a good way to waste thousands of man-hours across the globe, per day. Thank heavens that they care about my mouse hand!
That stupid turnstile door at the bottom of HOU140 to get out on the street side.
Managers who were promoted due to their tenure or physical characteristics, not due to their competency. I've never seen a bigger collective group of poor-performers in middle management. You can tell they only got there due to CPDEP and CSOC blah blah stuff, not by experience.
The PMP system is pretty busted. What a complete waste of time. Good managers let you know when you aren't performing, they don't need this silly report to fill out full of crap. Do one review at the end of the year, like normal companies do.
All the restructuring!! I never know who is doing what!!
All the inflated egos.
Having to act interested and do the business nod at all the stupid stuff people say. I won't miss that.
Lol! This isn't really chevron's fault, but....the voice of the girl I sit near. I would not miss that. 🙉
The buzzword of the month that people overuse to death. It gets nauseating.
Pmp process. Hands down.
All the networks. All the safety meetings.
So long to get ANYTHING done. So much red tape. So many people involved in the simplest of decisions, but no one wanting to be accountable.