Thread regarding Halliburton Co. layoffs

The CIA finally admits they killed the Kennedy brothers, but claim they were under the influence of one Darth Sidious (AKA Dick Cheney). They will further claim that Dick saw the Kennedy's as an obstacle to him becoming CEO of HAL, VP of the United States, and to a HAL/BHI Merger which would ultimately be the end of the Republic. The CIA decided to reveal this information to prevent the One World Government under Emperor Cheney from forming.

On February 9th, Johhny Manziel will be released by the Cleveland Browns. A few days later, Johnny Manziel will hold an emotional press conference where he will tell the World that his life fell apart when his mother told him his real biological father was really a no good nothing, Mother-Fracer. A sympathetic, Bill Belichik, will replace Tom Brady with Manziel as the Patriots starting QB in the upcoming season. This will lead to a perfect season, and the re-emergence of 'Johnny Football' in a 63-0 blowout win of the Dallas Cowboys under RG3 at Super Bowl 51.

God and the Devil will finally make peace after thousands of generations when the Devil stops his support of the ultimate evil plan on Humankind, which surprisingly is the HAL/BHI merger. Heaven and Hell will rejoice throughout the year as they come up with further humiliating concessions to be used by the EU and DOJ to humiliate and antagonise the crooked and greedy executives and Board Members of both companies who have placed their own interests above the common good of average workers. Years after the merger is not approved and executives of both companies are terminated or driven out, there will be people in Houston who claim that they have seen a Pizza Delivery man with a blonde wig and fake mustache who looks very similar to Dave Lesar.

NASA announces planet X/Niribru is real, and will be making a fly bye of earth as early as next week.

Barack Obama successfully has the FBI arrest Hillary Clinton for all her crimes, which will open the door to Donald Trump to become President and make America Great Again. This will prevent the current plan to have Trumps mechanical and electrical systems on his 757 jet tampered with to finally silence him during the Republican Primaries, so Hillary can easily win over Ted Cruz/JEB Bush.

The current Saudi King will be cured of his dementia, and claim that he drank the real glass of frac fluid that was meant for Dave Lesar. The Saudi's will lower production, and we can all go back to work again.

Pigs will finally fly, and more shocking, also only in the Middle East.

At this years Academy Awards, Dave Lesar will win 'Best Actor' for CEO at Halliburton. With no surprise, Jeff Miller wins 'Best Supporting Actor for President at HAL. In his acceptance speech, Jeff Miller, thanks the Shareholders, Investors, and the thousands of layed off employees who made it possible for the Board of Directors to come up with enough cash to merge with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Mr. Miller also says that he expects the merger to be approved sometime in the middle of the second quarter of 2016..