-- Pay a low salary to all employees other than execs.
-- Jackup dividends and exec comp and buyback your own stock like insane. Fund all this via layoffs bonus/rsu cuts to everybody else, even throw the health insurance out the window to scrape a couple million for this.
-- Create a site about "total rewards" make it look like employee is worth twice more than what they are being paid. Hell I wonder why they don't include building cooling, office utility expenses, etc per employee as a total rewards component there.
-- Frame your own faults as "the industry is changing". Like it was Apple's fault to come up with the first 64-bit processor and successfully market it.
-- Spend $100M on retaining suck-assexecs that screw the company.
-- When high performers wanna leave tell them how they are soo highly valued and some more bs. Remember underpaying engineers is the key.
-- Preach about doing business with integrity while employees are in the can for insider trading, Chinese officals' relatives are being hired trying to secure deals and whatever.
Insert your bullet points in the comments guys.