Hoffman Estates. Ill- According to an affidavit filed with the IRS on December 28, an unnamed Sears official speaking on the condition of anonymity disclosed that SHLD corporation will not be mailing w-2 tax forms to employees due a severe lack of postage, stationary, toner cartridges and any working computers, thin clients or printers. Employees may use their pay stubs to calculate any tax with holdings to determine their annual gross income.
Edward S Lampret stated from his 288 foot yacht "Fountainhead", "There is no cause for concern because I just make up whatever numbers I want all of the time and put the best tax evasion team in the world on it and no one cares. The SHLD associates can just do the same. Mnuchin is going to be in Treasury so who cares?"
IRS Official, F. U. Thievenstein stated,
"The honus is on the wage earner to honestly report ALL INCOME. This includes finding pennies in a parking lots and these pennies must be declared as income and are taxable. Failure to receive a W-2 form is not an excuse to not file taxes and if any SHLD employee doesn't file we will be out to seize any ramen noodle packs they might have left along with a hefty fine and a long jail term. They are criminals."
Any further SHLD financial transactions will be very carefully scrutinized by the Security and Exchange Commission. Any wrongdoing will promptly be ignored.