Thread regarding Bank of America layoffs

I'm ready for the week ahead

I will show up to work at 9am in order to make it to the standup meeting and will lie my as$ off about the status of my story.

Then I will pour some liquor in my coffee while I browse this site and post some annoying c-ap, follow by more web browsing until lunch time comes at 11:15.

I will return to work around 2 PM in order to make my status appear green (may check on my phone from time to time just so that my mgr doesn't see me away for over 1hr)

After moving all new email to the trash I will chat with my peers for about half hour and then ask them if they want to go for a coffee break. Once finished with coffee break, I will once again check my email and delete it from my inbox. At 4:25 i will start the shutdown sequence and head home.

I will repeat this pattern everyday with the exception of sprint end/beginning.

At sprint end I will claim my story had to be split. I will take the new story next sprint :)

At the beginning of the sprint I add a little more liquor to my coffee to make the boring meetings more fun.

Finally, on Friday I work less hard and have more fun.

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Post ID: @Z86P47V

13 replies (most recent on top)

October is finally here.....
Hi y'all

πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-2brio

Does google work on the darknet?

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-2bwnz

Community Edition End of Life:

# Switching Service Provider
# Business Proposal
# Automated the wrong Orchestra

Looking forward to the subscription based model

Happy Monday!

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-2btls
  • πŸ€™πŸ½.
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Post ID: @Z86P47V-1Qcit
  • 😁
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Post ID: @Z86P47V-1Qwfn

Let's see if they are as innovative as Citi in trying to meet their 12% goal.
Their definition of innovative is: cuts.

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-Vqjx

I think it may hit $0.25 prior to Wednesday.
Possibly dump B4 earnings

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-Vdbs

$30 calls for end of week @ $0.15 not looking bad at all

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-Vtbx

I am feeling sick tomorrow morning...

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-9ysn

Not even about how much do. Don't worry about what colleagues think of you, and certainly not what your own staff thinks of you as a manager. (They don't matter, unless they have the ear of a senior person.)

Just s--- up to your own boss and key decision-makers. Play along with the party line. As long as they like you, you don't really have to do anything.

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-6zbm

Excellent summary of the Bank. A shadow of it’s former self.

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-3gzg

@ OP

Judging by your post you deserve exceeds.

  • You attend daily stand-ups.

  • Provide status on current story

  • collaborate with coworkers

  • split stories accordingly

  • prepare ahead for Sprint planning

Excellent work!

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-3ydb

Sounds like you do more than most people! I know productivity is not important here it's really how busy you are that matters and so what you actually do is totally irrelevant. Just as long as your manager knows you ARE doing something including the numerous irrelevant tasks he wants you to do!

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Post ID: @Z86P47V-1hwr

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