Thread regarding Sears layoffs

What if Eddie Lampert owned a pro sports team?

It'd be full of undrafted players where he paid the minimum with no bench in a 60 year old stadium where the players would be forced to clean the stadium which used to be owned by the team but was sold to Eddie's real estate company for way under what it was worth and is now being rented. All the player's equipment would be second hand knockoffs from China. There would be no advertising. With every ticket and item sold you'd get an equivalent amount to spend on team goods, concessions and merchandise. There's a great e-ticket system you like to brag about, but glitches mean they don't work at least a quarter of the time, despite having every associate pushing the "your seat guaranteed members plan" at every opportunity. Oh yes, there's only one ticket counter at every game, and if you end up waiting in line until the game's over, too bad. The team's style of play hasn't been updated since 1995, and the average record is .111, with an operating loss of a billion annually. Sick of the tired old losing team and the c-appy dirty stadium, it's lost 4/5ths of its customer base in the last ten years, especially since the cross-town team just built a new stadium and is winning championships. By the way, it went bankrupt last year, but you figure the team that ran it into bankruptcy was doing such a bang-up job that you decided to keep them all on board anyway.

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Post ID: @ZuDZoEJ

4 replies (most recent on top)

Brilliant

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Post ID: @ZuDZoEJ-1kqv

So true

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Post ID: @ZuDZoEJ-1jkg

Haha. Perfect. Don't forget the 0-88 record!!!!

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Post ID: @ZuDZoEJ-1bkv

He would make sure it gets disqualified

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Post ID: @ZuDZoEJ-uom

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