Ah, ah, I almost forgot... I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks.
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So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working here, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, THAT'S the worst day of my life.
Well-well look. I already told Jack - I deal with the god damn students so that managemnt doesn't have to.
I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS - I'M GOOD AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE!!
CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COMPANY?!
The thing is, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. It's a problem of motivation Now if I work my ass off and we bring in a few few extra students, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? So that means that when I make a mistake, I have 8 different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled. But you know, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired. I generally come in at least 15 minutes late, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, and after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. I just stare at my desk - but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour each day after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual, work.
I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays
Didn't you get the memo?
I'm only coming in on Sunday if it counts as one of my 21 days of delayed compensation.
Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it...
We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
and if you could wear some nice flair with that casual attire I've allowed you to wear - that'd be grrrrreat.