As the holiday season approaches, we reflect on the degree to which keeping your ass in class and collecting payments from you have shaped 2014 at Everest University. We really value the relationships we have with you, even though most of them are based in fraudulent methods designed to dig you deeper into debt and ruin your credit. So, in 2015 we look forward to seeing each of you again – as you know, we need you to take out more loans and collect more stipends. It is time to set a National Precedent, so your efforts are appreciated more than you know!
Life pulls each of us in different directions, and we hope that your experience thus far has really put the fear of God into you. Thanks for choosing us! We are inspired to make more money every time we repeatedly dial, email, text, deceive, and harass you. May your family have a memorable holiday season filled with peace. We have already eliminated any possibility of prosperity.