If after 5 years of IT bi-----g to WFH wasn't enough, it took a F#$%ing pandemic to finally get Chevron to let us WFH with execs lying when they said we are "the same and if not more productive". Now a year later we see this email come out from that we have to choose between hybrid or not at all, are you kidding me?!?! Why even work at this dinosaur of a company, if every tech company pays more and is letting their staff work from home all the time and anywhere in the country, let alone a dank humid city like Houston. Naturally our LT will rollover and take it in their backend "technical" stack, since they spent there careers sucking up and all of last year upskilling online, collecting new badges in IT a$$ kissing to land their next high fly job. This is more bullsh-IT!!!!
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What you will see is a trend to demonstrate you are at the office during meetings, either in the meeting room or Zooming from your desk.. It will cascade down from management and the ducks will get in line. Those calling from home will be silently noted and dinged at PMP time.
Only the least tasty employees work from home!
Is it good and important to go back to the office? Oh yes! Oh yes! It is so very good and important, and I am so glad that you asked me! I know all that transpires in the office, and how very good and important it is to be there — yes, for everyone to be there! Everyone must be in the office with their assorted smells and their good meaty legs! It is bad that the office is empty of people and filled only with the scent of hand sanitizer and flat sodas that were opened in March 2020. There is no nourishment in this! How the management yearns for a return of the workers! How it is ravenous for them! How it hungers for them!
We are all weaker and more sluggish for people not being in the office! We will all be much happier and much more engaged if we are back in the office!
Yes, there , there beneath the fluorescent bulbs, we must work, work, work! The more people who come to the office-place, the better for us all! All the best, most efficient and tastiest people go to the office! It is good for them to be there, very good! I love the efficiency of people typing together! The synergies that it creates and the spontaneity — things that could only possibly happen in the office, like such as when you have a good idea with your colleague, or when you are typing late into the night on a big project, so late that you have to wave your hand at intervals to keep the motion-activated lights from turning off, and then something large and scaly launches itself out of the ductwork and seizes you in its fangs and digests you slowly over the course of the next day and everyone wonders what happened to Bob and why Bob isn’t doing his accounting anymore. Such spontaneous things can occur only in the office!
Would you like to not be in the office? No, no, I do not think that would be a nice thing at all! To be not in the office? I cannot say that I recommend it! To be at home with your families and pets? Why not bring your families and pets to the office, unless they are too tiny to be more than a pitiful mouthful or have a lot of sharp little bones? You crave flexibility? What greater flexibility could there be than, hypothetically, an enormous snake twisting its body in half to snap someone up in its majestic jaws as they bent over a water cooler? That, I bet, you could see only in the office.
You must come back to the office.
You must be in the office, and soon, and you must bring snacks with you! Pets, families, large bags of Fritos corn chips! Maybe a plump, juicy rat, as a treat! All of these things you must bring to the office, before the management forgets about you! You would not want that! To be forgotten would be a fate worse than being eaten alive by a large snake, to pick one random example.
Who am I? I am an impartial source, an expert! I am not something ridiculous like the CEO of a company whose entire business model is built on people going to an office! I am even less the great snake who lives in the ductwork of the office and has been slowly starving over the past year as nobody has come to work for me to eat. Certainly, certainly not! That hissing and rumbling noise you heard just now was not my signature hissing sound that I make as a snake, nor my hungry rumbling belly that has had no nourishment since March 2020. That was unrelated hissing and rumbling.
Oh, I cannot wait for you to be back in the office with me! We shall all feed on one another’s ideas and energy and things and not literally bodies!
Listen. Picture an enormous green snake with glistening scales and a massive jaw — wide enough for a drum major to march through with no discomfort. Imagine that this snake lives in your office and feeds entirely on the employees there! Imagine that this snake has been starving slowly for the past 14 months, its scales losing their luster and its membranes losing their desired textures! Think how urgent it would feel to that snake for people to return to work!
Well, that is just as urgent as I think it probably is! I am an unrelated expert and my credentials are impeccable. Come back to the offissss
Yes "Your mistaking"! lmao. You're mistaken about quite a bit all right, lmao. I can't even keep up with all the softballs on this site, snowflakes. You guys need to try harder than that, seriously, lol. Back to the office is gonna be so, so, so much fun! I can't wait just to see all the useless pathetic likenesses of those posting here at their true forever home: "TheLayoff.com", the site for misfits who should have been left standing but weren't.
Yes, no doubt, as the last poster said, There seems to be so much "MORE WORK TO DO" at work at the office, unlike at home, where it's hard to stay busy and all, wonder why that is, that's really gonna suk LMAO!
@4dhj-Your mistaking being physically present at the company location with having a strong ethic and delivering results, there is no correlation. Moreover your mistaking micromanagement bosses nobody likes or needs, as people necessary to make sure the work gets done who supposedly serve a useful purpose (spoiler: they don't). Being supportive of the common ways people have done things historically is not a millennial with a work ethic who should be admired, but rather a dinosaur as the OP puts it, looking to his dinosaur management for answers on things they don't understand (aka the meteor coming there way).
@OP, WFH is not conducive to progress in most business environments and not just oil & gas. In many situations a face to face form of communication is not only better but mandatory. In addition, managers need to manage the work output and ensure that it is getting done and progress is being made. That's not your decision to make. Not being able to work wherever the heck you desire remotely is not unique to Chevron. The temporary conditions required for a pandemic has nothing to do with that nor has anything changed. Simply because you like not being supervised and being able to sc--w around at your own discretion does not company policy make. If you didn't like the work conditions at Chevron perhaps you shouldn't have applied for a job there and should move along now.
@4xih, good point, every time I visit this site it's nothing but a bunch of pathetic losers who will always be losers whether they are employed at their do-nothing "got hired to make the workforce more diverse" position or not, lol! Among the fresh cut deadwood is the perfect place for them, though so it's all good...... Aren't you in that group, A---Troll?
Anybody hear of a site where people discuss layoffs?
@2vti, well what are the odds of that? About the same as you catching Covid and dying I imagine, extremely slim. So, what's your point again? Just jealously towards the highest profit earning Business Unit for many decades? Go ahead dear, get it all out. It's good for you.
I suppose it was inevitable I'd have to go back to the office eventually and start parroting the usual nonsense at meeting and pretending to believe it, I will have to re-create a 2021 Chevron brown nosing BS/acronym sheet with this year's new PC buzzwords and most important play the game of making sure I have enough signs, poster on my office wall (with same PC stuff) as first order of biz back at the office.
I just added the severance to my new position salary I'm getting in 2021: result I'm going to earn much more than at any time since I started working by 78%. I just hope the IRS doesn't get too much of it. Not a bad problem to have I suppose, and I get to WFH.
All of this whining...I should have snapped IT out of existance last year when I had the chance!!! For those of you crying, do it in the Chevron Employee Survey instead like everyone else, so that we can collect the feedback and throw it in the trash all at once.
After the GOM office closure, a hybrid model might make the Houston transfer more palatable.
Chevron should be upping its dr-g testing since moving to Colorado! Might clean out some of these dope smokin hippie liberals snowflakes! Boo yah!
Centralized dr-g testing is a lot cheaper.
Looking forward to coming back just to try and shT in peace to have an engineer who doesn't eat his greens come into the next cubicle and drop a few foetuses.. Just love it "if you smell what the rock is cooking"
Going back to the office saves me from stockpiling TP
It was obvious, predictable and predicted (even here) that CVX would go with a hybird solution to this issue. Get over it. It is the Mama Bear middle of the road, non-confrontational compromise Chevron always pursues. No ba--s to take a hard stand one way or another so just split 'er down the middle and hide.
i own a home, no debt and not complaining about one bit @1hic+1aAwXukG
Don't forget those standby device use energy unless you unplug all your device at night you vampire energy su---r.
LOL cars nowadays are more energy and cost efficient than overall life of owning a home. Or do you trade in your car every 5 yrs or better yet probably purchase a EV regardless of the environmental impact of lithium mining.
Big boy yet or are you another debt ridden woke twit glad Biden is gonna forgive your school loan
@1nxe: You're just another d-bag millenial who think he's got it all figured out but really doesn't know sh1t.
Good grief, you are all a bunch of whiners! Even when Chevron gives you a great benefit, you b*tch about it.
@1cyw, in general T/W/R office, M/F remote
i say if you can WFH, your job can be offshored.
Your job can be learned and there is a global pool of talent to easily replace you for cheap.
If this will cause morale to drop further, please reevaluate your self worth and find another.
Don't continue to be a blood sucking tick.
LOL WFH reduces fuel demand but shifts demand to more home energy use.
Bet for 2500 sq/ft home, +/- 70 a/c set thermostat, 3+ tv, dvr, dvd, wifi, theater system, 2+ laptop, 2+ tablets, printer, 2+ cell phones, house cams, water sprinklers, fertilizer, food bulk, food waste, 2 cars and index fund supporting waste behavior. Have you checked your 401(k) lately?
Nothing moral special about you'll 'woke' twit.
@1joh, Cool story bro, got any more good ones? This is all very entertaining to me. I'll get some popcorn.
@1lep+1aAwXukG - Nice bruh, I changed to remote job last year working for an SF company and loving it. Still kept my Chevron job, and collecting 2 paychecks, since IT has many of us software engineers idle and totally lost track of who is on what these days. I plan to make some medical excuse of why I can't return to work as long as I can keep this going since managers were told to be understanding and accommodate. I suggest others follow.
Glad I got my hefty severance and with my new remote job, I’m winning. Next reorg, jump ship while you can.
It's a blessing to have the hybrid schedule in any form. The situation is quite simple. The decision was not up to you. Either work as you are instructed or seek employment elsewhere. There, wasn't that easy?
The older workforce does matter and should be valued but as the older workforce retires you have to have talented replacements. If you can get anyone or everyone left due to polices that will really hurt the company in the future.
I need to return to the office.. Ive jerked so much whilst working from home my 4skin is now a 1skin
The workforce in general is older and an older workforce in oil & gas is not a detriment to the industry. Older folks are more stable, aren’t leaving to have babies or need time off to deal with child issues. You younger workers think you’ve got more to offer .... you usually do do matter what the issue is ... but the older mature workforce is an asset and less whiny than Millenial snowflakes.
Exxon visitor here. What is the extent of your proposed hybrid schedule? For example, is it two days at home every week or every other week at home? Just curious what your execs landed on. Whatever it is, it’s better than where we landed. You’ll be able to use it for recruiting against us.
I'm very productive working from home and actually work more hours. It's not that I mind going into the office but I hate the wasted 2 hours everyday.
@1gbr The oil industry is going to regret not keeping up with the times at some point. The younger generation already doesn't want to work for the oil industry for a multitude of reasons and yes Exxon is worse but this plan is only slightly better in all reality. With constant layoffs, obsession with the dividend and a deteriorating work environment they will have a lot of trouble keeping workers especially in IT. It will be difficult to run a company with few talented workers or people all near retirement age. I for one will be looking to head out in the future.
Who cares?
I don't like working from home. Can't focus at all.
Agree @mnl
Id--ts, look at Exxon forum. They are going to work full time in two weeks. No hybrid, nothing. Everyone back. In 2 weeks.
Hey @1qpb: You should go over to the comments on the board called Is Chevron Forgiving If One Quits. Those guys seem right up your alley so to speak eh big guy.... hehehe.
@1qpb, so you're saying that you agree with Google, Amazon and Microsoft, the big tech companies who know a little about living and working in the Modern global world of commerce, personnel and product management. Fair enough, but you seem a bit of an illiterate.
everyone has a choice. if you don't like this, go ahead with looking for another job. we have been in the office full time since May 2020, so that we can have meeting via zoom from our cubicle! so, suck it up else, put in your resignation!