Fire Or Rekindle Daily
We su-k.
9 replies (most recent on top)
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
It can't be done, it's a hardware problem.
Let’s drive synergistic outcomes through cross-functional budget systems for optimizations. The fundamental math has apparently been rebranded into more obscure non-transferable knowledge. Our technological revolution will require us to abandon our perfectly functional accounting infrastructure for SAP Enterprise Electric Edition. Everyone take our internal systems and vendor lock us into relying on Microsoft Fabric to migrate data yet again and let’s get cracking with the construction on the data LakeHouse. Let’s drop silly bands on having it right outside the Detroit River. This is a monumental strategy to alley Hadoop into a new modern approach that has new words to do the same thing, but rebranded as if it’s newly innovative and spark the scene up like we did on Fourth of July after we paid our comrades off, don’t worry we dropped them off the Apache. Let’s hire the ones that know this rebranded knowledge further adding to the irony of us becoming vendor locked brand advocates. I’ve been to Sweden, but I’ve never experienced Stockholm syndrome like this before! Let’s refine the data for the business intelligence boys. Don’t ask why we need to refine data! We don’t think about building it data ready for abstraction. We build it data ready for extraction! Anyway my first revolutionary strategy (I learned this one from a consultant who has been here before me who was once at the shiny Boston consulting group) to focus on EBITDA instead of GAAP net income. Don’t think to much about depreciation expenses once our vendor locked software contract changes or the company we partnered with gets acquired and they want a faster return. We can always just migrate to offset the future debt obligations. Offset them where? We’ll just kidding! With our zero-based budgeting approach, we are ready for a positive sum game. Everyone is happy with all the dollars we save in the now! It’ll go to a dept that shall not be named (because I’ve overused that joke) but so will our migration! We should be able to afford both immediate and future highlighted through our 250k Gantt chart that shows out 52 week development cycle, we titled it “complex cost reduction timeline”.
Goodbye pivot tables, they’ve updated it with Microsoft copilot just like we’ve updated investing in high performing quality multi-faceted software engineers with low performing quantity expert of none software consultants. They got AI now so we can’t tell the difference if the strategy is skewed. We fired all the architects but I’m sure there are smart FCGs around able to discern what’s the best long term strategy. I’m sure they gained plenty of experience in their California startup universities and masters and even before that.. ✊ don’t worry about headcount for FCGs, penny on the dollar since they lack experience. The whole bunch. Everyone is the same.
Apparently numbers aren't your thing. It's ok troll, others like you have ignored math before and that's a choice. Just never really works when you ignore balance sheets. But keep going...
Post ID: @c2+1jqp7zqfc
Your attempt at a joke falls very flat. The truth is Ford's revenue streams in the future will be with Model e products and services. Which our customers will want. Get up to speed with the Plan. Plenty of resources available.
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, if you value merit over perceived cost savings
But more software is the answer! Yay software! Let's forget how to build everything else. MODEL e makes us all the money any......wait.
Saw some data that lots of people in China have dangerously high lithium levels and those in Beijing even worse than other places.... but watch out for that carbon dioxide in the atmosphere!!
Buy a BEV toast your marshmellows
Risk of cracked injector and fuel leak.
Another reason to go to BEV's! No fuel to leak and less risk of fire!
Plus the government defined CO2 as hazardous during a previous administration.