" As of today Sears Holdings will no longer be able to continue to operate. Effectively immediately we will cease all ongoing operations. It's everybody's else fault but ours. We tried to make it work, but we kept changing plans, C.F.O., C.E.O., E.I.E.I.O,and DVDS. We spent all the money on useless things that we scraped weeks later after stressing them to our employees. Our Sears MasterCard idea was a flop because of interest rates and the fear of us closing. Our much beloved and heavily invested (employees) Shop Your Way program decided to go another way and jump ship to Wal-Mart. All our appliances got up and walked to the nearest Home Depot because they know they will be sold there and not kept on display. The furniture decided to move to J.C. Penny because it wouldn't smell like shame or misery before arriving to (members) customer homes. Clothes went to Target because they believe they can bring the 2017 out of these 1919 designs we have. Tools went to Lowe's because we were too high. Electronics went to Best Buy because let's face it we tried to overprice everything we could to make a dollar and it didn't work. Lastly to the employees if you guys would've worked harder and sold more plans,credit cards,and all the other junk nobody want or need we would still be around. Thanks sincerely yours truly Mr. M YASS."
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An unconfirmed report, only recently, indicates Sears is considering opening a full line store in Aleppo, Syria.
No one is an idiot here. We are all just people worried about our jobs....even the very sarcastic people are worried. If they werent they wouldnt bother with this forum.
I am using my time wisely... How about I make another post about tomorrow's quarterly update. I can state how this turnaround has been tremendous for the company and how we are prospering and ahead of your local corner store in sales,foot traffic,and shop your way members.
haha very funny. Now go use your time a bit more productively.
@1rvz - Eddie, is that you? If not, I truly feel sorry for you. You have sunk to the same level of delusional thinking and haughty attitude that characterizes our dear leader!
WRONG AGAIN...
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/sears-reaches-agreements-to-reduce-its-debt-burden-2017-05-23
You people are idiots!
Very clever! The ways of Sears are so bizarre that it is difficult to tell if this piece is satire or truth.
Thank you!!!_
Fully agree. Good read.
Very comical. I really wish this post went viral. It sums up the affairs of SHC funny.