I am ex-Fiserv and sad to see everything changing for the worse. So this is not too farfetched these days but we have to laugh at the chaos of atit all or go crazy.
- Sickness. NO EXCUSE . . . we will no longer accept your doctor's statement or note as proof. It is clear that if you are well enough to get to the doctor's office, you are well enough to come to work.
- Leave of absence (for an operation). We are no longer allowing this practice. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would clearly make you less than we bargained for.
- Death (your own). This will continue to be a valid excuse, but we will now require a two-week notice since we will have to replace you.
(Author note: Point 3 replacement is of course optional and no severance pay).
Now head to the bar this evening for some arm bending exercises.