Come on down kids, it's time to play "What Have You Done For Me Lately" with our host, Your Sociopath Nike Boss!
Behind Door Number One - three months of having your every move scrutinized under a magnifying glass like a helpless ant. Management has been too busy feathering their own nests for years to pay any attention, but today that's all about to change!
Behind Door Number Two - A week's supply of face masks adorned with smily faces you can wear to Zoom meetings to more easily pretend everything's fine. Now includes a fabulous pair of Swoosh sunglasses with a dark tint so no one can tell you've been crying!
Behind Door Number Three - an all-expense-paid trip to the unemployment office!
BTW This. Game. Suuuuuuuucks