Take a stroll down memory lane with me by sharing your favorite comments made by leadership. No names please so thread doesn't get deleted.
25 replies (most recent on top)
Let's get into word processing machines, it's the next big thing!
The ranking system is totally transparent, unfortunately I can’t share the presentation with you.
I am Ph.D. from the top school (not to tout but just to be clear that I am not making it up). When I was a new hire and was doing well at EM, my wise supervisor advised me if I follow certain processes well, I could imagine being a VP material. What he was suggesting is to extra follow stupid and fake safety protocols and made-up processes. I looked around at our ExxonMobil VPs and I was almost ready to throw up realizing this is what is supposed to be my future "dream" assignment.
Needless to say, I decided to quit. I found my dream job, left the company very soon after that and I couldn't be happier. I will rather fail everyday dreaming to create some impact than having a dream of becoming one of those mo–nic EM VPs.
Not to worry, you are a solid middle third, just like in past years
I fought really hard for you ... but, this year ... (it was very competitive) ... (the mean was 70% instead of 50%)... (the weather was awful...) ... (I had a lot to drink the night before...) ... (dog ate my homework ...) , basically fill in lame excuse of preference
Whatever happens, we will handle it with integrity and care.
Former EMIT VP, "If you're able to demonstrate that you can do your job effectively from home, then let me know asap, so I can add your job to the list of positions to be shipped overseas." ...or something to that effect.
“Trust the system”
“Lean into the staffing evolution”
@zie+179nAc8P - yes, that was a good laugh! Did you work in Clinton?
My favorite (heard from several senior managers): "We have no plans to reduce headcount"
“At the end of the day, it’s all about our people”
- the plaque outside the energy center
“People” is a weird way to spell dividend
“We are ExxonMobil”.. much subjectivity in who is included in the “We”..
This is a way-back one, but reliably quoted in a JD Rockefeller biography:
Even at the end of the cloaca - you eventually see the light.
"It's a very competitive process in a very competitive industry."
I think that refers to Dividend Royalty status.
Used to think it was about technology.
We are all in this together.
“Energy lives here” as long as it is HC based
"It's like your stuck in a dark tunnel and you can see the bright light at the end of the tunnel. . . . but you're never going to get there"
Disastrous metaphor for always striving to meet (ever changing) goals! Went over as expected.
"Why aren't you innovating?? What is keeping you from innovation?"
Our employees are our greatest assets!
Exxonmobil is a technology company.
I had a boss that, when asked why he treated people another level down from me so badly, replied with “you gotta do that, it’s a leadership dimension!” like he was giving me advice.
EMRE bold commitments - oxymoron
I am spiritual about LPS
We paid a consultant to do a benchmarking study and discovered that while you are all overpaid I am underpaid.
When I fired her she left my office crying. I saw her a couple years later and she thanked me for firing her. This is proof that our system is the best.