Just finished working a major project, investing massive amounts of personal time and energy.
Got NSI'd. 30+ years service. And suddenly I am a poor performer. Bull.
So:
When you go to work in the morning, first think about what skills you want to develop, what interests you and what would best serve you personally and direct your activities accordingly. Do what interests you, not what is important.
Never again feel any guilt about unnecessary business travel, training that is not really necessary or relevant, spending work time on news sites, researching technical topics that interest you.
Never answer honestly about how to improve things. Always agree with management. Talk in buzzwords. Six sigma seems to be back, read the wikipedia article and quote it ceaselessly. When your opinion is solicited , tell them the worst performers are great and the best performers are mediocre. Always suggest we need more resources, coordinators, oversight and reviews.
Only do work that is visible. Don't worry about the quality of anything that isn't going to be noticed in the short term. When you document systems and processes, do as little as possible. That way you can be a hero when you are the only one who can fix them.
If you see something failing, ignore it. If you have to fix it, move on quickly.. Don't worry about the root cause, you won't get credit for fixing someone else's work.
Talk the talk. Constantly talk up new processes that are hopelessly cumbersome and bureaucratic. Reply all constantly so it looks like you are busy.
Don't point out inefficiencies but suggest that more staff be allocated to the problem area. Look for possible issues with security and controls and constantly point them out and suggest "the auditor might not like this". Suggest we have a controls advisor review everything.
Do everything by the book. Seek as many opinions, reviews and approvals as possible.
Engineer things to death. If you are building a paperclip, make sure it is designed to survive the thousand year storm. Ask for every possible review.
Spend lots of time on Yammer. Like everything your management team likes, no matter how inane it might be.
Go to every possible town hall and group meeting, and make flattering comments while actually paying no attention.
Volunteer for everything.
If anyone ever asks for help, even a quick question, tell them to talk to your manager first. Then send them to consult with as many other people as possible. This will make you more visible.
If someone asks for something, always ask them if this is a planned activity and if it was approved at the right levels. If you realize the specifications are flawed, implement it anyways. Second time you implement it, you'll have lots of spare time.
Anytime you are asked for something, no matter how simple, call a meeting with every possible stakeholder. That makes you look more important.
Take a lot of ergo breaks and a few sick days.......