An individual on my team consistently ignores my emails, yet issues speedy replies to others. Even when it’s work he has asked my manager to have me do, it’s no reply once I send it on. I understand that people are busy, but it seems odd that as the lone female I’m the only one getting nothing. I don’t want to be that person who makes waves, but at the same time I’m a competent person and I think common courtesy would dictate a reply. Are there any others out there who have felt the same? If so what did you do?
9 replies (most recent on top)
Way to pull the gender card straight away! There are many reasons this person could not be getting back to you:
1) They s— at responding to emails
2) They think they are better than you and can't be bothered
3) They find your emails not needing a response
4) They are s-xist and don't respond to emails of the opposite gender
You seem to have jumped to item 4. Here's what I proposed:
1) Ask him why he doesn't respond to your emails
if that doesn't drive change in his behavior...
2) Ask other members of the team if he is unresponsive as well
3) Ask other females if he is unresponsive to their emails...
If you go down that path, depending upon those answers perhaps you can then pull the gender discrimination card.
Keep sending in email with your manager cc’d. Have it established on record, then talk to your manager about it. “You’ve asked me to work on this project with XXX, but he has not been responsive. I’ve sent Y emails, which you were also cc’d on and I haven’t received a single response. It’s been X weeks/months of this treatment.” Or maybe he’ll respond with your manager cc’d.
I think the advice @fcc gave is partially correct. Don't let this person get into your head and make you feel that you are the problem. That is something you have to own 100% and decide that your colleague is not going to make you feel that way. I would suggest bypassing this person and working directly with your manager if you need to - i .e. stop emailing him. Now it becomes his problem to figure out.
Please do not do what @fcc suggested. Wow....
Try Slack. There is no escape.
@fcc wow that is bad advice
Be that person that makes waves! Put your work out there, make sure your chain of command knows your work. The failure of the person who never replies owns that dodgy behavior. Resist the urge to reform others. Play your game and good luck.
Some people are toxic and the best way to handle them is to ignore them as much as possible. I don't know if that is you or not, but that old adage applies, that you are not going to ever change someone else, only yourself. Examine what you are doing and honestly ask yourself if you are doing something annoying in which case you need to change or whether it is actualy the other person in which case you need to walk away.
Ask him directly. If there are others out there, as you asked, what possible good would that do you? Stand up for yourself, be courageous, and do what you feel is the right thing. Best of luck to you.