Thread regarding Chevron Corp. layoffs

Digital Platforms might be Renamed

I heard from one of the so-called "Technical" platform managers that due to the blowback of how poorly IT has managed the transformation, the term Digital Platform is now viewed in a negative light by non IT folks in the company. The CDO is considering renaming Digital Platforms to something else in an effort to drive enthusiasm and re-Imagine IT...again. But wait....it gets even more rediculous. Apparently the top alternatives being considered are Digital Farms and Digital Factories.

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Post ID: @OP+1bKrrXtP

26 replies (most recent on top)

Let's call them Digital Port-a-Potties. Cause all the work is going to sh-IT anyways, might as well make sure it all is effectively collected in 1 damn place.

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Post ID: @ajti+1bKrrXtP

Eff it. Let's all go back to analog.

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Post ID: @7ouh+1bKrrXtP

Renaming Digital Platforms? Not a surprise here…just another shell game by B!ll B. and the IT leadership team… when you can’t deliver working platforms, you change the name, start over projects, new timeline and new budgets. Great ways to confuse the business and IT employees

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Post ID: @5vzz+1bKrrXtP

We don't need more Machine Learning. We need more Machine Diversity and Inclusion training! Guys be more sensitive.

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Post ID: @4mpo+1bKrrXtP

Digital deification … faster and smoother than ever before due to machine learning enhancements!

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Post ID: @4fly+1bKrrXtP

We need much deeper digital penetration to fully explore our potential.

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Post ID: @4hys+1bKrrXtP

I’m sensing a lack of alignment here. Tell me about your mission and vision?.

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Post ID: @4dxn+1bKrrXtP

Digital Wastelands? Where every Hi p-t Product Owner's dashboard goes to die. LOL

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Post ID: @4vop+1bKrrXtP

You left off Yee Hawwww!

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Post ID: @3msx+1bKrrXtP

Oh, My first thought why certain Digital Platforms may be renamed was because they already had names like; Robert E. Lee, Andrew Jackson, All Lives Matter, and such….

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Post ID: @3amj+1bKrrXtP

Chevron doesnt realize how bad IT
Is at Chevron.

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Post ID: @3ymh+1bKrrXtP

getting rid of network drives and moving to onedrive/sharepoint was too fast and furious

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Post ID: @2jlc+1bKrrXtP

Phalange evolution

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Post ID: @2azh+1bKrrXtP

"how poorly IT has managed the transformation"

What transformation?!?

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Post ID: @1ypy+1bKrrXtP

Can we rename chapters to something cool like clan, coven, fellowships, factions, or tribes?

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Post ID: @1aqd+1bKrrXtP

Get rid of digital and tech and go back to typewriters … eliminate hacking and ransom ware. Oh, so sorry, millennials dont know what a typewriter or Big Chief pad looks like and how they operate.

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Post ID: @1hig+1bKrrXtP

Digital Kibbutz? Kickbutts? Digital Kicks Bu-t? bupkiss? buttkiss?

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Post ID: @1ltc+1bKrrXtP

At this point who cares what the name is. IT morale is severely damaged and well being is in the dumpster after the transformation and all this mess.

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Post ID: @1hnc+1bKrrXtP

Can we do digimon?

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Post ID: @1tpd+1bKrrXtP

Chevron Presents …..Real Men of Genius.

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Post ID: @1ifb+1bKrrXtP

I’m not remapping all this bullish!t again.

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Post ID: @1zpj+1bKrrXtP

We can grow some really good digital Weed on that Digital Farm.

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Post ID: @1axg+1bKrrXtP

Lol, sounds completely plausible. Such leadership from our technical visionary Chief Digital Officer. “I know. Let’s rebrand this sh!t. That’ll fix it.” ImagineIT 2.0, now featuring 20% less sûck. Here’s an idea? How about firing the fûcktards that came up with this sh!t? Oh wait, most of them were consultants or EOI’d /Retired with nice severance checks before the sh!tstorm. Guess we’ll fix it… I prefer farm to factory. Prettier views. Fresh air.

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Post ID: @hll+1bKrrXtP

They might as well name it "Thelayoff.com", where all the incompetents at Chevron spend all their time, lol

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Post ID: @gdb+1bKrrXtP

Regrets - stands for Chevron Homey IT.

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Post ID: @ipi+1bKrrXtP

Names do mean alot - especially when they are tarnished or soiled.
On the other hand - one of our major competitors named their IT outfit 'EMIT'.
Like the Clown.
This has been somewhat of a protection - could be laughed off.
Even as EMIT went completely fubar and cost the company billions in failed projects and rollouts. It's just that old clown.

So - my recommendation for a new name:
CHIT.
Simple enough.

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Post ID: @aeu+1bKrrXtP

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