Thread regarding Wells Fargo & Co. layoffs

Missed Connections: Stagecoach edition, vol. 1

You were a high powered former JPM executive with a track record of cutting headcount at any cost and the energy of a young Jack Welch. I was a former teller turned engineering manager turned SVP to the EVP of D,E, & I with a thing for short millionaires.

Our eyes locked from accross the agile big room planning session and we could both feel the synergies flowing.

We met that night at the hotel bar. No names, we promised, just one night of organizational ec----y. After the 2nd spritzer you were half in the bag and deep into your third offshoring anecdote. I was utterly smitten. We played truth or dare and you ended up canceling personal lines and loans in between sips of our shared long Island.

Later on while swaying to yacht rock in your room you whispered sweet nothings in my ear. You came up with a plan to automate all processes with "AI powered neural network RPA". When I asked what that was you simply said "I read about it in wired magazine, and it's the future..." as you gazed wistfully at the copy of Atlas Shrugged on the coffee table. In that moment I could tell you would micro-manage mountains to make it happen.

I know we said it would be a one night thing, but I want you to know, whoever you are, that I think of you with every email blast that passes through my inbox and with each employee I term.

We're building your future everyday, and together we'll go far.

by
| 2486 views | | 8 replies (last ) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1dD7qR9i

8 replies (most recent on top)

I felt the same way and long to see you again. You can find me in the late evening in SF or NYC in any high end establishment. I’ll be with the many pretty people in the city, and I swear… some of them are girls.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1ecr+1dD7qR9i

Leave Wells Fargo. Go work at The Onion. Whatever you're doing, it's NOT your calling. You're brilliant.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @gxh+1dD7qR9i

This is gold

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @cmg+1dD7qR9i

I heard tech was affected

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @tgt+1dD7qR9i

No wonder you successfully slept your way to the top job in Wells Fargo .

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @mgu+1dD7qR9i

DEI, Diversity Equity and Exclusion.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @opa+1dD7qR9i

Brilliant! Now do the reply.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @tqc+1dD7qR9i

Ugh, this guy again.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @nkd+1dD7qR9i

Post a reply

: