One team I was on there was a guy in his 50’s who knew they were going to PIP him so he just disappeared. Totally ghosted the company. He was on an expat assignment at the time. I think he had a letter from a doctor even saying he was depressed. He continued getting expat pay for over a year before they finally cut him off. Seemed like a sweet way to go out!
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They won’t notice you’re gone.
They may want the laptop back but you can always leave it at your desk.
Eventually they will find it. And eventually they will turn the tap off.
Nobody cares, really.
Sometimes I really wish this site had GIFs. Queue marvin the depressed robot...
Dude may have actually been depressed.
If you are out on medical leave as short or long term disability, you will not be "PIP'd".
However, you need to make sure that you have medical documentation to qualify for short or long term disability.