Yeah it would be better to make $250k a year doing nothing.
If your goal in life is to be a member of the professional managerial class, you need to adopt an air of superiority. I
mean, you’re already sh** on the job you’re proposing to do anyway, so it should be pretty easy for you. Pick the most competent member of the team you’re on and make that person you’re mentor. And then, constantly question what they’re doing. Not publicly, you don’t want the person to know, but to your boss. Undermine that person as much as you can.
Use corporate speak to propose vague ideas about streamlining processes or whatever corporate buzzwords/terms are in vogue now. It doesn’t have to be real or make sense because it won’t ever be implemented.
Talk constantly and TALK LOUDER THAN EVERYONE. Your boss should always be hearing your voice. ABT—always be talking!!! This is what leadership is about. If you say something stupid loud enough, it becomes the TRUTH.
And ask tons of questions, even if the questions are stupid and the answers obvious. This is a good way to ABT and to attack your competition, too. Just questioning what someone else is doing, even if what they’re doing or saying is right, is enough to make your boss start questioning your coworker’s competency.
Don’t waste time doing a bunch of work. The work is really beneath you. The worker bees do the work. You’re constantly questioning and coming up with ideas. Other people implement the ideas. Again, it doesn’t matter if have no ideas. The perception that you have ideas is what’s important.
Remember that person who said not to specialize but find a niche? Doesn’t that sound smart? Did it matter to you that it didn’t really make sense? F no! Find your niche! That’s the kind of thing you’re going to be saying ALL OF THE F** TIME.
And this may seem contradictory but you also have to be the nicest person on the team. You’re not acting superior, you are superior. And all of our betters are really nice people, if we’re being honest. That way when you get promoted over everyone, most people will think you deserved it.
You can’t overdo it though. You have to get to know the people who matter and what they want to hear. You’re kissing their a* but like, a lot of people in senior mgmt here don’t think they’re susceptible to flattery. They are, but you don’t want to point that out to them.
Finally, keep a framed photo of Pete Buttigieg on your desk or in the background of your webcam. It’ll keep you on track.