Thread regarding ExxonMobil Corp. layoffs

Our performance assessment process is like running from fast zombies

Our performance assessment process is like being part of a group that has to run away from fast zombies every year. It doesn't matter how fast you ran last year. It doesn't matter how fast you objectively run. The only thing that matters is not being one of the last ones in the current group because the last ones get eaten.

Every year, you have to hope that you are still not going to be the last one in the group. If you get promoted because you were among the fastest in the last group, you are probably now on the slow end of the new group. So be careful.

In a more sane system, it would be more like running away from classic slow zombies: as long as you run faster than some objective standard, you survive.

I wish someone had explained the system to me in these terms.

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Post ID: @OP+1i5Nil8J

10 replies (most recent on top)

Ya that analogy is true if it’s a true meritocracy (e.g performance based on the merit of your running speed).

In EM, it’s slightly different where you have other antics and showmanship (e.g people tripping each other, who looks the best when the run, supervisors arguing about who is actually running the fastest despite who’s obviously ahead, whose supervisor is pulling them forward while running)

I’d say the metaphor is generally true though.

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Post ID: @2ofg+1i5Nil8J

I was naive for years and thought if I worked hard, I’d be fine. My direct manager wasn’t I the room and I ended up taking a significant hit. I asked what I could have done to have been ranked higher and silence. I’m done trying and feel like a fool I didn’t jump sometime last year.

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Post ID: @2bkr+1i5Nil8J

Your entire year of effort is summed up by a 2 minute (or less) pitch by your manager. They know well before the sessions where you’ll notionally be placed and use this to bargain with others in the room.
Most of us are simply fodder in the process, once you come to terms with that it’s much clearer what you must do to survive.
Trust at your own peril….

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Post ID: @1lag+1i5Nil8J

You're not running against the zombies. It's worse. You're running in a group, but you're relying on your manager to argue with the other managers where you should fall in the pack and determine whether you should be in the front, middle, or back.
So, your position in the group depends on you good your manager argues your case. If you're the slowest, but your manager is good and likes you, you're fine. If you're not the slowest, but your manager is bad or doesn't like you, you're zombie food.

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Post ID: @1oqh+1i5Nil8J

@ayf+1i5Nil8J Just because EM and you say it’s a meritocracy, does not make it so.

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Post ID: @1cqa+1i5Nil8J

I suspect this link has been seen before, but maybe not by all EM peeps.
It is part of my annual review process, for sure:
deeper in: on the stairs (dead finks)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmlC-9dDMk4

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Post ID: @xft+1i5Nil8J

@ayf, if what you say were true, and there was integrity in the process, most of the “leaders” today would have been fired or at the very least substantially demoted, based on the drastic underperformance of the company relative to its peers. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!

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Post ID: @dlo+1i5Nil8J

@ayf+1i5Nil8J
“Meritocracy” you say, management material ? You got the words wrong, it’s kleptocracy.
Level one of brown nosing is to do it in front of your bosses or on LI, where everybody can see it and you know you’ll collect “brownie” points for your efforts.
Level two of brown nosing is when you do it out of principle or habit, in places where you can’t even get credit for it, like an anonymized site. The brown stuff simply gets in your brain and you can’t think outside it. True EM leadership.

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Post ID: @gls+1i5Nil8J

It’s individual survival, no matter what management tries to tell you.
Look out for yourself and trust no one ,sadly that’s what the assessment process has forced us to do….

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Post ID: @moe+1i5Nil8J

It’s called a meritocracy. If you perform well you have nothing to worry about. Those at the bottom should get “eaten” or perform better.

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Post ID: @ayf+1i5Nil8J

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