For those of you who are on the fence about retiring or on the receiving end of a PIP, worry not. The current economy provides abundant options:
- Salad-to---r at Olive Garden. This should come naturally to many of you, and is one occupation where your EM skills are fully transferable.
- Meat-handler at Buckee’s. This is a role where all of your “hard-won” managerial skills that you’ve gained by making your way up the corporate ladder can be effectively leveraged.
- Dough massager at Dunkin’ Donuts. A perfect role for the REs/NREs. The intense attention to detail required will provide ample opportunities to utilize your decades of “institutional knowledge”.
- Ball-fetcher at Topgolf. This role is especially suitable for those with upper-level management experience. It will allow you to engage your “soft skills” in a dynamic and challenging environment.
These are only a few of the limitless number of opportunities with which the economy abounds. Your decades of service at EM have uniquely prepared you to excel in any or all of these roles (no computer skills required).
Best of luck to all, and have a joyous holiday season!