Dear EMHC Team,
After several site visits, I have identified a recurring operational concern: an alarming level of cranial uniformity among the male population.
At this point, I am no longer confident that there are multiple individuals involved. It is entirely possible that EMHC employs one bald gentleman who simply changes safety glasses and shirts throughout the day.
For safety and identification purposes, I propose the following corrective actions:
- Mandatory name tags with large font.
- Optional mustache differentiation program.
- Assignment of unique call signs (e.g., Bald Eagle, Bald Eagle II, The Chrome Dome, Captain Reflective Surface).
- Investigation into whether baldness is an unofficial leadership competency at EMHC.
Please advise whether this phenomenon is due to genetics, stress, or prolonged exposure to refinery air.
Respectfully,
A Concerned Observer