Thread regarding ExxonMobil Corp. layoffs

My supervisor gas lights. Wants to show progress and improvement on items without full consideration of competitiveness. Despite telling him and showing him repeatedly something will cost more or isn’t a good idea because x-x, he insists… to the extent he is piping team members if they don’t comply…

How did we create this types of people and why r they succeeding

There are many in the company not just at the management level that would gaslight employees just because jealousy, eliminating a threat to their dominance or power. Some even go to the extent of intruding personal privacy and spread malicious rumors to make the employee leave the company on their own accord. If the environment is toxic, should get yourself out of the company and avoid sacrificing your health and sanity.

@2eyc Alfred Hitchcock? What are you, 100 years old?

None of you are being gaslit. The word you’re looking for is “grievance”.

@OP+1mZmpLqD

Management lies about technology and the viability of technology because their managers want to hear messages that help their personal careers in ExxonMobil.

If our managers were promoted on their ability to tell the truth to their direct reports, we would not be in the situation that we are in today.

As one personal executive coach said, "If you want to be invited back as a coach tell them what they want to hear, not what they need to hear."

The term comes directly from an old Hitchcock movie called "Gaslight". Watch it and you'll understand how it applies.

@1bvp No, it really isn’t.

Hyperbole, that’s an epidemic. So is everyone, everywhere perceiving every minor irritant to be an existential crisis.

If your boss is a douche (and he probably is) then get a new job with a new boss.

Gaslighting is an epidemic.

Management lives in a parallel universe and believes everyone else is wrong.

What is gaslighting? Here's what it is and how to respond to the behavior.
Evan Hecht USA TODAY

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/09/13/what-is-gaslighting-how-to-spot-it/10333556002/

Merriam-Webster has announced "gaslighting" as the 2022 word of the year. Searches for the word increased 1,740% this year, the dictionary publisher says.

Other top words and terms from 2022 include "cancel culture," "Omicron," "LGBTQIA" and "Queen Consort." Last year's word of the year was "vaccine."

"Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" is the popular meme you may have seen circulating the internet for a bit. Knowyourmeme.com states the meme’s origin comes from a 2021 Tumblr post that was making fun of “live, laugh, love.”

But the term has been also been misused, and some may not actually know when it is happening. What is gaslighting exactly?

What is gaslighting?

According to the Newport Institute, gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the manipulator attempts to make their victim believe what’s happening to them isn’t actually happening and their reality is untrue.

The Newport Institute offers a few examples of what gaslighting is:

(1) Lying about or denying something and refusing to admit the lie even when you show them proof

(2) Insisting that an event or behavior you witnessed never happened and that you’re remembering it wrong

(3) Spreading rumors and gossip about you, or telling you that other people are gossiping about you

(4) Changing the subject or refusing to listen when confronted about a lie or other gaslighting behavior

(5) Telling you that you’re overreacting when you call them out

Where did the term gaslighting come from?

The Newport Institute says the origin of the word gaslighting comes from the 1938 play "Angel Street." Alfred Hitchcock eventually turned the play into the 1944 film "Gaslight." The story follows a man convincing his wife she is going crazy so he can steal from her. When he turns on the lights in the attic to look for his wife’s jewels, the gas light downstairs starts to dim. He tells his wife it’s all in her imagination, gaslighting her into believing the lights were not dimming.

Signs of gaslighting
Verywellmind says there are many signs of gaslighting that include but are not limited to:

+ You doubt your feelings of reality
+ You question your judgement and perceptions
+ You feel vulnerable and insecure
+ You feel alone and powerless
+ You wonder if you are what they say you are
+ You are disappointed in yourself and who you have become
+ You feel confused
+ You worry that you are too sensitive
+ You have a sense of impending doom
+ You spend a lot of time apologizing
+ You feel inadequate
+ You second-guess yourself
+ You assume others are disappointed in you
+ You wonder what’s wrong with you
+ You struggle to make decisions because you distrust yourself

How to address and respond to gaslighting

Responding to gaslighting can be difficult, but Healthline offers eight ways to properly respond:

+ Make sure it’s actually gaslighting
+ Take some space from the situation
+ Collect evidence
+ Speak up about the behavior
+ Remain confident in your version of the events
+ Focus on self-care
+ Involve others
+ Seek professional support

@1jpd

You’re not being gaslit. The people you’re accusing of gaslighting are too stupid to effectively apply the technique at the institutional level anyway.

We get it: EM is a lousy place to work. Now get another job or get over yourself.

@1idd+1mZmpLqD
Don’t minimize what people have experienced and sit in judgement. Many in this forum still suffer psychological damage and health effects from working in this awful place. It’s you who don’t understand.

From Psychology….
Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.

“Gaslighting”

You people need to give this a rest, especially since none of you are using the term correctly.

Gaslighting is something that an intelligence officer applies to a human asset (ex. interrogation). Your manager being a general douchebag doesn’t fall into this category.

BRCP if her mouth is moving she’s gaslighting. Her favorite tactic is attempting to scare us and act like she’s one of us by telling us it’s all upper management mandates in order to get her way on any item she wants done. Volunteering for work with upper managers and threatening admins and underlings with their job so that they do the work she volunteered for. Soft spoken and sheepish in front of management then a jerk to her people. She’s suffering from a lot of mental problems but the jeckyl Hidd she has perfected.

You will find that many of our managers do not have a demonstrated track record of "sun setting bad ideas" before we spend millions of dollars only to put the bad idea on the shelf.

There have been many executive level (CL-30+) that spent their entire career championing bad ideas or ideas that would never fly.

I even had one manager that wanted his team to support his technology-based idea that violated the 2nd law of thermodynamics and the idea did not even mass balance to 100 percent. He was promoted and eventually retired as an executive in technology.