Q: Hi AskAT&T! Long time listener, first time caller. Listen, I keep hearing that AT&T is about to default on debt, having stock downgraded, having massive layoffs, but what can be done to fix all of these problems.
A: [Beep, Boop, Bee-Bee, Boop, Ding] Andy Markus programmed me to search the millions of documents that geniuses at AT&T have created over decades spanning 150 years. [Beep, beep, boop, ding.] Based on my computing power and the extensive knowledge base of AT&T leaders past and present, my expert to “fix” AT&T is for AT&T to purchase Dish Satellite network and merge with Paramount Streaming TV. We will be able to have store and call center reps add the services to customers accounts without their knowledge and pay huge bonuses to AVPs and Directors. You are welcome.