Thread regarding Wells Fargo & Co. layoffs

Charlie was invited to give an inspiring commencement speech to the graduating class of a state college

He submitted a rough draft outlining his key points for success to the shining new graduates:

  • Shamelessness is a Leader’s Greatest Superpower.
  • Narcissists rise to the top faster than altruists. Success requires an inflated sense of self-importance, a ruthless desire for power, and an uncanny ability to manipulate people.
  • Your goal should be CEO. You can make 500 times the salary paid to the people doing the backbreaking work. Use inequality to your advantage.
  • How to use legal loopholes to make more money. e.g. Corporate Stock Buybacks.
  • “A rising tide lifts all boats” and other bs quotes.
  • If you have the hammer, everyone else looks like a nail.
  • People say “Greedy Capitalistic Pig” like it’s a bad thing!
  • Teamwork is important. You can blame someone else for the mistakes and take all the credit for the successes.
  • A bad boss leads by example. A good boss leads by fear.
  • Leaders I follow: Michael Scott, Bill Lumbergh, George Costanza, Kanye, Zoolander, Coriolanus Snow
  • It is not necessary to Walk the Walk if you can Talk the Talk.
  • White collar crime rarely ends in jail time.

After seeing Charlie’s submission, the school apologized for the mix-up and said they had regretfully double-booked that day. 🤥

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Post ID: @OP+1nlsD5Yb

8 replies (most recent on top)

Don’t besmirch Zoolander like that…he used his money wealth to build The Derek Zoolander Center for Children Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.

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Post ID: @1psc+1nlsD5Yb

Must be tough to sleep at night thinking about Charlie 24/7

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Post ID: @ewn+1nlsD5Yb

@uav that was one of the better self-owns I've read here. Nicely done.

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Post ID: @qre+1nlsD5Yb

Most business "leaders" in America have anti-social personality traits. Power-hungry people are rarely the types you want to associate with, unless you're a sadist.

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Post ID: @ttt+1nlsD5Yb

I enjoyed it!! Thanks for the laugh!!

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Post ID: @hpk+1nlsD5Yb

Imagine sitting in your mom’s basement with nothing but time on your hands and this is what you do with it

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Post ID: @uav+1nlsD5Yb

Mr Corruption. They can learn from the best!!!

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Post ID: @ngx+1nlsD5Yb

Good God! Hopefully these young grads ignored his corrupt ideas!

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Post ID: @uir+1nlsD5Yb

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