Please share tips on how to survive layoffs at Intel.
One tip is to get good at creating and presenting power points.
31 replies (most recent on top)
Sitting with one leg outside of Intel building window waving a piece of white paper or white clothes.
Hire career laywers.
Be related to a VP
Why "survive" at Intel when you can thrive somewhere else?
Anyone who is (a) over 50, AND (b) is not on a profitable project or is in a marketing role, AND (c) is not an H1B, should be prepared to get the boot in 2024. They will be the first out the door. Count on it.
Don't be so weak and look fool by these dump kiss a-s ideas from id--t managers to weaken your mind and abilities to thrill your careers. If you are threatened to be laid off at Intel, get outside help. Call polices, FBI, government represtatives, ask your coworkers in same situations to run outside and strike back for help with home made protest signs demand better working conditions, demand equal pay, equal employment, equal treatments, yell louder as much as you can with speakers 🔊 .
PPT is key. The rest is secondary.
Hide inside Excutive offices or cubicles.
Do minimal work, don’t push for promo, stay far away from the heat, don’t be a pa--y.
Hopefully an Intel employee can capture the information in this thread and use it to create TheIntelSurvivalGuide.pdf for distribution within the company.
Much of the information here is true and not just rants by disgruntled people.
Disclaimer: I haven't worked for Intel for several years, but based on what I've read here not much has changed. If anything, it's gotten much worse.
Based on my time at Intel I believe the following will keep you relatively safe.
- Learn to sell yourself effectively
- Participate in politics strategically
- Learn to win arguments using emotions but don’t make enemies
- Don’t be a perfectionist
- Deliver quickly and simply, avoid complexity
- Never ever be late
- Never outshine your manager
- Pace yourself, don’t work too quickly or too slowly
- Write down your accomplishments
- Meet regularly with those that get promoted
The powerpoint reference is awesome and so true. Who remembers TIMNA? All the PowerPoints looked great and all indicators were pointing up month after month (we knew better) until the very day we were called in and the project was official canceled.
- BreakAway-
It's simple, do your managers work (including PowerPoints) or kiss you managers a-s.
Walk around wearing a headset, talking as if you are in an important meeting, looking annoyed and using a lot of acronyms.
Once upon a time when Intel’s values existed and meant something you could always make a big song and dance about Performing to Values … now those values are gone , you can’t even do that . Rule 1 - don’t ever rock the boat, high five everyone and enthusiastically engage in back slapping and delusion while the company slides down the toilet . When Pat calls you out at an open forum , yell “heck yeah , bring it on “ …. old Intel guys love such Maoist dog whistling .
I used to actually love this company ! My goodness I absolutely LOATHE it now !!!
Listen. These guys know what they are talking about. They have done it.
You own your career at Intel, and that's the way it's always been.
Translation:
- Kiss your bosses a** often and with enthusiasm.
- Plagiarize high profile accomplishments by others and claim credit for their work.
- You're either a backstabber or backstabee. In other words, be the boot not the door mat. There's no in-between.
- Blame others when you fail in order to minimize the impact of the 'Risk Taking' core value.
- When asked to train people in low-cost GEOS leave the company ASAP.
- If offered a grade bump after giving notice because you we're asked to train people in a low-cost GEO tell them NO and leave double ASAP.
- Better yet just leave. Intel is a dead end.
@1she IT, like many other services are not marketed outside of Intel.
Do what the most toxic, failed managers do — change jobs internally when you foresee your efforts collapsing into a heap of failure. Since job reviews are time-bound into annual intervals, you won’t be around to take the hit when the sh-t hits the fan.
This “1 year performance review boundary” has always been a huge problem at Intel, especially in IT management. They reward the “shiny new object” chasers and ignore the wreckage they leave behind.
Perception is reality. Create the appearance of competence while doing close to nothing. Spend as much time as possible networking with your manager, their manager and up the management chain. Make sure to brown-nose the fck out of their a$$es.
Learn how to fake it until it catches up with you and then jump to 🍎.
Be good at generating a lot of PPT your manager can reuse. You’ll have an Intel job for life.
Hear , hear, the d1-khead id--ts at intel you don't need a va---a to run a company down
just as you don't need to be black to be stupid as fu-k: exhibit A former CEO and ELT
Kiss your managers a-ss
When you have 1:1 with your manager, claim credit for your teammates accomplishments, and blame them for any delays in your deliverables or for creating dependencies and blockages to your objectives. Always, always throw your coworkers under the bus.
Kiss peoples a-s
@bjk +1
Create dependency and always say that I'm blocked. That's the tactics my coworkers used all the time
Brown nose and do that while managing up. It's about performing in front of everyone everyday and with everything that you do and say.
Befriend your boss
I didn’t want to merely survive.
I want to thrive.
So I left.