Starting on Monday, employees can trade 3 PTO hours for one bi--h-slap that can be used on anyone within the company.
Kissing a-s will now be considered s-xual harassment.
If an employee does something stupid, only that employee will be required to take the mandatory training that follows said event.
Managers must now pay employees $50 each for every meeting that could have been emailed.
At the next Townhall, Charlie and Mike will dance to Da’ Dip.
In all seriousness, WF does take the survey seriously, but for the benefit of the company, not the employee. For YEARS, employees have been wanting work at home, but only (barely) got it due to the pandemic and despite employees continually making this a top issue on the survey, WF is about to remind us how little we are and demanding everyone comes back to the office full time (since Dell, Intel, Amazon just did this to their employees).
Let’s keep the forum professional & useful for those that are in need & not fill it up with useless garbage. Thanks for your understanding.
As if ICs ever actually read their emails. 😂
I wish I had $10 for every IM that should have been emailed.
"Managers must now pay employees $50 each for every meeting that could have been emailed."
If they want to improve efficiency, this should have been step number one. The amount of time wasted due to useless handholding meetings is unreal. This management team is far more concerned with the appearance of doing something than actually doing something.