What is it like to work for Chevron? That's an easy one. Your first day on the job, your supervisor will gently slice off your balls with a very sharp ceramic knife, the same kind of knife used in sushi restaurants, lock them up in a small transparent box, and place the box on the corner of his or her desk. Then, every time you walk into their office to discuss anything, you can see your balls, but you can't touch them, have them, or use them. Once a year, right before final PMP, your supervisor will unlock the box, take out your balls, and let you feel them. This will be just to remind you of who you once were, and with the promise that if next year's performance is good enough, you may be able to borrow your balls now and then. However, you will not get them back, even if you stay with the company until retirement. No, throughout your career, your balls will be handed off from supervisor to supervisor, until you call the TALK2HR phone number on the morning of your first day of retirement. That's when you will discover that the nice lady in Mumbai speaking broken English on the other end of the call has your balls. You will, of course, ask to have them back, but she will inform you that you cannot have them all at once. You see, if you had bothered to read the fine print among the 1,500 pages of new hire documentation all those years ago, you would have known that your balls will be given back to you bit by bit over a 30 year period. If you die before then, your bits of balls will continue to be given to your spouse, of course. And so, your spouse will then bury or cremate the rest of you, but will at least have a steady stream of tiny pieces of your balls to remember you by. Welcome to Chevron!
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I lost my job during Project Alpha. I started as a Texaco employee. I also feel like I was treated fairly and with respect. I took advantage of the company's generous benefits and so I am not devastTed by this turn of events. I feel hurt and a little betrayed but that's life.
I have been with the company for almost 35 years and have been treated with respect all along the way. When offices closed and moved elsewhere I was always offered a job as most people were in those days. However, most people did not take up the offers and found employment elsewhere for better or worse. I figured it was best to just stick it out and move and stay with one company for a career. Not everyone feels this way I know. When I moved, I always found success in the other offices and was treated well. But I was very conscientious and did my work very well and was aptly rewarded. When I had health problems develop every supervisor/manager I had was very understanding and allowed me great leeway. Of course there were difficult times like everyone has at some or many points, but me and most of my co-workers trudged through it all and came out fine in the end for the most part. I know not everyone has had the same experience as I have had. Believe me, I have heard the horror stories time and again. I have managed to save a bundle over the years in my 401K and pension and when I retire in the next couple of years I will look back with many fond memories of all the challenges, changes and especially the people I have worked with.
Anonymous169516, thanks for the well wishes.
Anonymous169192 - Hats off to you, Congratulations on your financial accomplishments. I wish you the very best in your vacation / sabbatical / retirement. Good luck!!!
For me, it was sweet for 26 years. But, I got RAE'ed last month, so now I can only hope to find a job at half the pay. I can't complain, though. I saved and invested like hell for all those 26 years. I was both savvy and lucky. My house was paid off a year ago, I have no debts, got three late model vehicles in my garage and $1.75MM between my pension and 401k. To boot, Chevron sent me home with a one year "bonus" of a severance check, 6 months of medical subsidized insurance and 6 months of State Unemployment benefits that I intend to use entirely while I vacation. In my own little way, I'm going to stick-it to Chevron... at least that will be my attitude. Goodbye Chevron (and best of luck to all my good friends who will remain there).
Scores of books were written about Enron, rest assured they are being written now about Chevron. There will likely be a chapter about Chevron PGPA and HR staff paid to intimidate employees writing about the mismanagement on this blog.
Go write a book and leave this site for company specific information that we can use, interpret or talk about. I am already nervous about the current ROMs and to read this is more depressing
All this talk is making me hungry for some mountain oysters.(calf fries). They are quite delectable this time of year.
I will never become like you. I have far too much respect for myself. You are a bully.
Why not speak straight instead of all this morbid testicle anology?
Anonymous165298, you obviously still have a job with Chevron. Congratulations. You have not been on the other side of the treatment yet. Wait until the music stops before you expect, then you will join us or least understand our frustrations. For now, just read or go away.
It is actually embarrassing to know that such people represent my company and I will be classified with such a bunch of frustrated, unhappy, unethical incompetents. Get a life and start seeing a therapist to resolve your personal issues
Hey Anon4454, I'm calling you out as the same poster (The Chairman). Make a real point or get lost you pesky fool.
Anon 4046 - thank you for demonstrating the typical Chevron employee mentality. You are obviously clearly aware of the shameless bigotry and workplace victimization that goes on at this company given the expectations you have on how your victims might react. Its good to see Chevron fanboys coming on here and demonstrating the Chevron mentality. Thank you. Your other anonymous post (4312) also shows the typical sniveling cowards at Chevron - anything to avoid accountability and blame someone else when challenged.
I see 'The Chairman' is too ashamed to post his handle... now must post as Anonymous. Make a real point or get lost you pesky fool.
That's lovely! In my department we slice up those balls, and Saute' them with garlic, onion and a little basil. They have a sweet, mild, and somewhat nutty bouquet in most cases. I have not come across yours. I have a feeling that they would be very small and bitter. It's a shame that you did not do something different with your life with such small gonads. I suggest perhaps wrapping them in bacon, stuffing with a water chestnut and cooking thoroughly on a grill, which may soften them into something usable and they won't get thrown out with the dead wood cedar plank.
@The Chairman, your postings are becoming more childish by the day. Your earlier posts and replies to other posts seemed to be more coherant and somewhat serious. This particular post just doesn't sound like you. Is some other person using your handle or is it you? Reflect on what you post and don't waste the readers time, please.
The question is if you had the balls to begin with.
You are a very bitter person. You really need to see a therapist before you hurt someone. If you decide to hurt someone, please hurt yourself first. The movie theaters are for families not sociopaths.