Thread regarding ConocoPhillips layoffs

I never thought I would ever be writing a letter like this. It all started with my employment with ConocoPhillips. I was young and naïve, and all my supervisors were older and powerful men. I'm certain I would blush anytime one of these men were in the same building as me. I would absolutely melt if one of these men actually acknowledged me with a 'good morning' or 'hey you'. I knew it was a sign when one of them looked at me when the elevator doors opened and asked, "are you going up or down"? I was quivering! Early on my career, I don't really recall much. Hazy recollections of waking up after the Christmas parties with my shorts on backwards, mumbling "Don", "Matt", "Bill" or whomever it was at that time. As the years passed, I slowly began to realize that I had become a sex addict. I begrudgingly admit that if I kept allowing it to happen to me, I must like it! Not only that, I feel dirty. A good dirty if you know what I mean. Strangest thing though, my therapist looks at me funny when I explain that I just LOVE taking it up the ass. She argues that I actually have to have physical sex for it to count! Not true I tell her. Just because I don't feel it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Ask any drunk college girl. I told my therapist that every merit raise, VCIP or passed promotion, I was getting the meaty shaft of my employer. And I told her I must be good at taking it. Given the length of my career and the number of partners I've had over the years, I must be really good. I told her that I could look at it one of two ways. Each time, I was either forced to do it, or I was an eager and willing participant. Hey, I'm a happy guy. Maybe it is more of a defense mechanism, but I had to defend myself in thinking I wanted it. So obviously I was a sex addict. Lately though Penthouse, things have changed. I might lose my job and "both" careers. I don't know if I can suffer through the withdrawal (pun intended). My therapist and I have begun to have sex now, reinforcing my belief that I'm a sex addict. She, apparently, is intent on "fukking me straight". But it's not the same since she is not equipped to, shall we say, "fill" my desires. Desirable rear I tell her! She's even encouraged me to do her from behind, but it's not the same. I pay her the fees because my EAP allowance ran out long ago, so I'm still out money after the sex. Sure she's using me, but it's nowhere like feeling used, and therefore necessary, by my employer. Please Penthouse, what do I do????