My group is not in scope for the 20161h rom. I want to go tomorrow if given the severance to help bridge us financially. We want to move home to be closer to family and start a small business. My position is a good planning type job, Houston. How do I get out of here? Is there a 2nd half 2016 rom or broad alpha2 coming up ?
21 replies (most recent on top)
@Ggx0Yzj-2kmo, You are absolutely correct. Just because he wants to get out of his situation does not necessarily make him a useless liberal democrat parasite sponge Bernie Sanders/Shillary deadwood voter. It's not fair to call him that worthless and greedy for other people's earnings without even knowing him!!
@1efd, you are probably wrong. The OP is trying to do the best for his family. For all we know, he is a hardworking guy who earns his pay. Just because he thinks about life after Chevron does not make him deadwood. I hope you are an ex- employee (I am a current employee and shareholder.).
I didn't think we had so many bernies Sanders voters. Feel lucky we even offer a severance.
Feel good that you are wanted. With the way things are going, there should be more ROMs sooner or later.
I did express my desire to my Manager to be let go. He shrugged it off saying he needs me in my role. He has no one qualified to replace me with. Can you believe this shit? I'm 59 years old and nearing my desired retirement age, but that SOB won't let me go with a severance.
OP- could you not express your desire to your Manager? He can possibly put you in-scope. With so much planned staff reduction, I am sure they can find somebody else to replace you.
Folks- be careful! There is a fine line between laid-off/fired/Left-standing in ROM. Loosing your job for incompetency or insubordination may not entitle you for severance package.
This is what i did to ensure I'm going to be laid off. I came into work wearing my tailored light grey slacks with no underwear to a meeting. When everyone noticed this long cock and big head laying on my thigh during my presentation...Im sure i will be laid off. I'm sure I made my boss envious!
If you don't want your job just quit and leave an opening for someone who wants to be here. You don't deserve severence pay. Chevron isn't welfare, the severance is for hard working employees who lost their jobs due to no fault of their own, not leeches like you.
@1dox - thanks bro. Good luck with your endeavor. All of my tactics to get laid off worked flawlessly. Now have plenty of cash on hand and a better-paying job!!
Pure Gold @1cdl. Sharp minds think alike.
How dare the company that employees are trying to screw turn around and try to keep themselves from being raped by ungrateful incompetents trying to grab a bundle of the bounty and jump ship!!! LMAO!
The sick day strategy is a good one. Be sure to say "yes" during your reviews when they ask "Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?" And if there are any occasions where gifts are exchanged, get one that is inappropriate (e.g. strap-on dildo for a colleague's retirement party) for the occasion and add your manager's name to the "from" tag. Cleverly mix it in to the pile of gifts. Or you could find some questionable "literature" and have it sent to your manager at the office. If your manager is male, have a case of tampax or vagisil delivered to him on bosses day. The ideas keep rolling in....
You are welcome, @1yhl. Best of luck. Some folks who have used the "lazy ass" strategy have told me that success came quicker when they sprinkled-in a little tardiness, taking a sick day now and then, slipping a deliberate error in their reports, and occasionally passing gas during team meetings when their boss was present. The smaller the conference room, the better.
The OP asks, "How do I get out of here?". Simple. You simply resign! Go have the guts to pursue your interest to be close to family and start your own business as you said you want to do. Clearly you do not want to be with Chevron anymore, but just like so many greedy folks you want a hand out in the form of a severance package before you will ever leave. People like you who are not motivated to work for Chevron will keep on collecting a paycheck because you are greedy and self-serving, rather than doing the right thing by resigning and moving on with your life. You OP are the very definition of "Deadwood".
Or,... they'll promote you.
@wza, if the "disagreeing strategy" does not work, then try the "lazy ass" strategy. I kid you not. The former approach can be construed as borderline insubordination, but the latter approach is easier to get away with. Just slow down the pace and quality of your deliverables. Management will peg you for a lazy ass and put you on the short list to be ROM'ed before long. Good luck.
I am trying to get out with the severance package too. I tried the disagreeing strategy but it backfired. Now they are trying to fire me before the next ROM is started. I have never seen such a group of controlling backstabbers. They need to layoff a portion of the workforce, but when you want to leave with the package, they are damned if you will get out with a life line. What a bunch of losers!
Good luck with your strategy. Let us know how it works for you.
@jjc is correct, just don't get cornered into being fired for cause, like insubordination.
Disagree with your manager/team lead, point out the flaws in their presentations, and sound the alarm when you think a project, initiative, etc. is over budget or late. That should ensure you are included in the next round of layoffs.