Thread regarding Honeywell International Inc. layoffs

Hornyhell Leadership Team (HLT) Announcement

After 3 rounds of Furloughs, 2 rounds of RIFs, we still can't make the numbers.

The shareholders are unhappy, the employees are unhappy, and most important, our fearless leaders D&d are unhappy.

Therefore, we request all employees to think outside the box to come up with creative ways of cost cutting and belt tighten measures to help the company. Make the company one of a kind in our industry (maybe in the world)

We want you to give suggestions in the following areas:

How to eliminate more workers? How to reduce the benefit further? How to cut the cost to the bone?

As a good start, we have adopted and implemented some really creative suggestions such as reuse toilet paper and bring in stationery...

In order to encourage more good ideas, we decide to create a reward - Cut to the Bone Reward (CTBR). Here is the CTBR Rules:

If your suggestion is accepted by the HLT, as a reward, you will be moved to a Delayed RIF pool (D-RIF) from the current RIF pool (C-RIF). If any of you is not follow or is against the accepted suggestions, as a punishment, you will be moved to the Expedited RIF pool (E-RIF) from the current RIF pool (C-RIF).

Thank you and let's roll......

by
| 3517 views | | 2 replies (last ) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+JG3Zz8X

2 replies (most recent on top)

Thank you ALT for chiming in here. Greetings from my palace! I wanted to thank you all for taking a week off unpaid. It really shows me how much abuse the employees will tolerate for not only my own benefit, but the benefit of Wall street. It warms my otherwise cold, dead, heart to see the employees of this dying company willing to give up so much money so that I can continue to reap many millions of dollars in stock sales. I want to let you all know that its almost over. Soon I will have milked all the money (and life) out of AERO and then it can be sold off to different companies. I'm glad that i was able to lie for so long to wall street, you employees, and our customers. I'm about to reap millions more in stock, so keep up the hard work at least until I can sell all my interests in the company.

P.S I laugh everytime I read that these layoffs were because of how efficient the company is. Sometimes I like to see how big of a lie I can tell to the media before someone calls me on it, but no one ever does. Hahaha!

All the best,

Dave

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @kbl+JG3Zz8X

Don't worry. Ol' Dave Cote's already cashed in his stock and bought up a $4 million plot of land on Anna Maria island. He'll be perfectly happy soon enough.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @nhj+JG3Zz8X

Post a reply

: