Well, anyway.... I am the original poster. I actually posted this somewhere else and someone else posted it here as the beginning of a thread. Several people then said they had gone through the same thing.
The bully here seems to have gone off the deep end, but perhaps I can share some information.
I thought I would point out a few tricks the people I was working with were using, for anyone who might find themselves in this place.
I went to a therapist who pointed out the term "gaslighting". Something I had never heard of before this happened. This comes from an old movie call "Gaslight".... they actually had me rent and watch the movie. Very interesting. Sometimes spouses use this type of tactic, apparently.
For instance, one spouse will hide the other spouse's car keys. Then, they will "help" them find them and suggest that their spouse just can't remember anything these days. Over time, the other will actually accept that, since they trust what they are being told, and they are not really keeping track of things that closely. The other person can begin to doubt themselves.
For me, the second manager would do the following. He would write an email to me stating something on the project would now be done in a certain way. I would reply back and say "OK".
Then, sometime later he would contradict what he had written in the email, but do this over the phone. We were having meetings everyday, so lots of things were decided over the phone and I really didn't know that I should have been recording everything. Who would do that?
So, I go on and do what he says over the phone. Then sometime later he pretends to notice that I did the wrong thing. I say, No, you said to do that. He pulls up the only email on the topic that was sent quite some time ago, and I have by that time, literally forgotten about the original email. And says, No, you agreed to do this, SEE. Then, he opens the email in the meeting and he and the other person (his girlfriend), swear that they never said anything different.
At first I wasn't sure, it can be a small thing, that you may just assume you don't remember correctly, but there were other larger things that I remember explicitly being changed. It just didn't occur to me that they would do something like that. Then, it also occurred to me, one time, that even though the email was old, when he opened it in our shared meeting, that email was already scrolled to the middle of the screen. Prepared. He didn't have to search for it, he knew exactly where it was and the whole thing was staged.
This is a form of gaslighting, trying to get the person to doubt what they remember. It can be used in other ways, just by changing what you are telling someone, from time to time, and then insisting that you are correct and the other person does not remember.
There were other things like this where the manager would say different things at different times. I would ask a question about something and he would change his answer. If I repeatedly asked, he would blow up and tell me that I was "obsessed" with the question. Clearly, he wasn't going to answer anything.
I complained to my original manager, who I thought was helping me with the situation, but he was not. I thought that my back was covered and it was just the people in the other group that were doing odd things.
I had no way to prove what they had been doing by then, as I had not recorded anything. They were building an email trail to say that I was not doing what I was asked to do, which was not true. I was doing exactly what I was asked to do.
There was a developer on the other team, I believe this person was the manager's girlfriend, although I did not know that at the beginning. I believe she was sabotaging the code along the way, but there is no way to prove that. She didn't respond to emails, which I could have cracked down on, but in the end, what is the point.
I was also being told that the code had to be done by a certain time and was working literally, night and day and weekends to meet certain goals. I was excited about the project, it was really cool, I thought I would get credit for it, but I suspect that they were keeping my part in it quiet. But, it also had been many months and I was exhausted.
By the end of the project, I was explaining to my manager all of the sabotage and lies that were going on. I was complaining about the person moving the code around and the fact that she didn't respond to emails. In the last couple of months I had been working only with the manager and his girlfriend.
They were doing other things over the phone, criticizing things, being sarcastic, being general a--holes. They were saying they wanted me to continue helping them and then behaving like a--holes so that I wouldn't want to. So, the emails say things like they are looking forward to having me work more with them and then they behave like a--holes on the phone. So, when I then say that I don't want to work with them anymore, because they are a bunch of a--holes, the emails say the opposite.
So without recordings, it looks like I am the a--hole who just won't help them anymore. It was set up that way. They knew what they were doing, they thought about it long before and they had done this before. They were not amateurs.
My manager was not an amateur either.
I had been placed in his group without ever meeting him first. It appears I was just put there by spreadsheet. Some idiot above looked at the list of senior engineers and I would guess, salaries, and moved me into his group. I was told that the reason was that this manager did not have many senior engineers. No real reason..... I think they just look at an org chart and then go eeny-meeny-miny-mo or something.
I thought the guy was OK. My expertise was not in his area, that's why I was farmed out. But, I didn't fit in his group. It's a sh--ty way to do something like that. This guy also had a lot of thugs in his group. I saw them make fun of other people along the way. I think they rule by terror. I thought it was odd that the manager seemed so friendly and the employees there were such a--holes. That should have been my first warning that the manager was not who he seemed to be.
Anyway, the manager was a thug, too. When I started complaining about what was going on in the other group, his response was.... Oh, so you can't work with anyone. Complaints I had about the lying and code sabotage were just not things I could document after the fact.
If there was any piece of advice I would give, it's to record everything.
At the end of this my manager was trying to get me to write more emails, I had written some, about the people in the other group. But, he wanted more. Then, he continued to harass me to make sure that I left without giving the other group any documentation on what I had done.
I think that he was really trying to get the new application into his group. So, he sets me up to write a new app for them, they sabotage it, I refuse to work on it anymore, and he attacks me so that I leave them no documentation, knowing they don't have the js skillset to support what I wrote.
The group had a couple of devs from India working in it. My manager was Indian with a lot of Indian developers and he would ask me about who the Indian developers were in the other group. I think he was looking to take the project after I wrote the code for it, then discard me and transfer the project to his devs in India.
Or something like that. It was intensely stressful. I didn't want to leave the project, I just had no choice. Honestly, being a good developer, I expected to be appreciated and have a chance to work on the project for a while. I was sabotaged by both sides at once. There was no where to go but out.
Some of it may have been because the manager's themselves didn't trust one another. There could have been a lot of other things I was not aware of.
It's hard to summarize several months of lies and deceit in a few lines of text.
I would say to the bully here. You think you know everything, but you don't. It's much more complicated than you can imagine.
Oh... and when someone forwards you an email, do you ever check to make sure they haven't changed the text when they forward it to you?
Do you record all your conversations?
Nobody expects to have to do that. This was not office politics, this was far beyond that. I haven't even begun to list everything they were doing. They knew what they were doing.