Suppose you want to get onto your manager's lay-off list, and you want to get a package soon.
Anyone propose any particular strategy?
Perhaps, just don't do any work, or mess things up?
Or, just don't help your manager with any underhanded deeds?
Anyone directly tell their manager that they would like to be laid off?
What's a good strategy to follow?
do everyone a favor and find another job now, you are just bringing everyone down. you are actually part of the problem. If you are not doing your job, you get put on a PIP and managed out with no package. There is no RIF list.
I was laid off in Jan 2016. In my previous performance plan, I asked to be laid off. I also let my mgr, and all the way to my director know. They were both laid off. If I hadn't put it in my plan, it might never have happened. Other folks my age (64) wanted to get laid off, but didn't put it in writing.
FWIW, I didn't slack off or annoy my colleagues - I just did my job. In the last 2 years, that took <30h a week, so I just went to the gym. Oracle gave me a good ride that was pretty easy for the last 10 years.
Don't focus on the monkeyshines of the CEO class - try to pull smaller ones of your own ;-)
Make comments like "This design looks like it was made by Rube Goldberg and Escher"
Like this one too.
Also I asked my manager to help on any project I was working on. Wanted his feedback and then would let him take ownership of it.
I like this idea because it would appeal to the narcissist in my manager. He would love the comments that I need his opinion.... at least on the surface..... but then, he knows he doesn't know anything, so it would scare the sh-- out of him to have to give advice about anything real.
Definitely a winner, this one.
Make comments like "This design looks like it was made by Rube Goldberg and Escher"
Well, it worked for me.. YMMV.. ;-)
Also I asked my manager to help on any project I was working on. Wanted his feedback and then would let him take ownership of it.
This is a good idea. I like this one.
What a bunch of website sad sacks, your wife called and left a message, she went on vacation with the football coach. Grow a pair.
I got a package by playing video games and going to movies all day. Did not care and let it show. Did the absolute minimum, passed the buck, took no responsibility, said nothing in meetings. I did do everything asked of me as quickly as possible and updated all documents, responded to emails etc... so there was nothing they could do to fire me.
Also I asked my manager to help on any project I was working on. Wanted his feedback and then would let him take ownership of it.
If you want a package / layoff, don't tell your manager, go to at least an M5 or M6 in your reporting line and just tell them honestly that if / when they need named for the RIF list to please put you on it.
It will help if you are male, over 50 and not in one of the designated "low cost" countries.
Take a dump then don't flush, wipe, or wash your hands.
Complain about everything and in general be annoying as possible to your manager. When it comes time to make the list he will then request that you be added to it just to rid of a major PITA.
Who says your manager is making the decision? The slice and dice directive could be coming from a much higher level, and your manager is just the tool.
To add to @VNqaEXk-1csl, be male and white.
Turn 50 :)
Terrible idea. The "package" isn't going to be worth it, and tjre is no guarantee that you will even get a package.